VisitationSr : Where are you in your vocational discernment?

How can you find a spiritual director?
How do you share your hopes of entering religious life with your parents and family?
What ways can you explore different communities?
What about limitations and disabilities?
These and many more questions and answers will engage us in the Living Jesus Chat room, Divine Mercy Sunday, April 7, 2013 at 730PM est.
Join the Visitation Sisters who will be there to chat with you!Tonight we’re here to answer your questions and discuss discernment and vocations

Apr 7 2013, 7:16 PM

Sister Susan Marie: Hi Guest 868. Are you interested in discerning a vocation

Apr 7 2013, 7:18 PM

Sister : I’d be happy to answer questions

Guest868 (guest): Yes

Sister : There are many communities- how do you find the one you are being called to is a frequent discernment issue

Guest868 (guest): What limitations and disabilities rule out a vocation?

Sister : It depends on the community. For some, absolute health is a must. For others such as some contemplative orders, limitations are accepted

Usually pyschological issues rule out a candidate.

There are some communities geared to people with physical limitations, such as a group of Benedictines in Ct and even the Visitation

There is an order that accepts individuals with limited vision

But the emotional issues that make community living difficult is the one that most communities will not accept, unless correctable.

Guest868 (guest): How do you find these communities? I work full-time and don’t know where to start.

Sister One place is through contact with your Diocesan vocation office

Certainly the Internet has alot of communities with a presence today

A spiritual director can also help. If you can find that director. A pastor might have suggestions about that

We are here every week and would also be happy to walk the journey with you in our limited way and provide some ideas as we go along

Guest868 (guest): Thank you! I will try the diocesan vocation office tomorrow.

Sister You are welcome!

We can also do some research for you if you wanted to share any specifics.

Guest868 (guest): I am an older woman with diabetes.

Is there anything I should be doing while I am discerning if this is a possibility?

Sister: First , prayer

Finding a spiritual director, priest or religious is a tremendous help

Going on a weekend retreat or day of recollection would also be a good spiritual support for you

Are you involved in your Church at all? That would also help

C: I was as baffled as you are. then someone finally told me about vocationplacement.org

I signed up and took the test, and then communities began to contact ne

Sister: Great suggestion!

Guest868 (guest): Yes, I teach at an alternative public high school for discipline problems and trouble with law enforcement.

Sister : Don’t they send you lots of communities based on what you are looking for?

C: yes, but it is also based on your test results

Sister What kind of test does vocationplacement.org have

Does it cost anything?

C: It’s a multiple choice, like you sometimes see in the women’s magazines. Answers are ABCD and each letter is worth the point value of one to four

Sister : So it sounds like you are “matched” with communities

C: you add up your score at the end for your “range”. It’s free, you just have to leave your name and contact info so they can send you your results and give your contact info to possible matches

Sister : Guest 868 does this seem like a possibility for you to try?

Guest868 (guest): Yes

C: It’s actually quite interesting. Those “range” tests aren’t always accurate, but this one seems really close

Sister : It worked right?

C: Oh yes, indeed it did!

Apr 7 2013, 7:42 PM

Guest726 (guest): I am frequently told that I should try to narrow my spirituality down to one school. But I find something wonderful in each spirituality I see. I cannot see myself as purely, for example, Carmelite as others seem to – is this a problem?

C: Such a fabulous adventure, and now I’m packing up to go for my three month trial visit

Oh, 726, I know exactly what you mean-I love them all too

Sister: I think you are being advised to explore your dominant spirituality- we all have a bit of what you have!

C: But visits to communities will help you sort that out as well as a spiritual director who specializes in vocation

Guest726 (guest): That’s just it though. I don’t think there is a dominance.

Sister In fact I was not even looking for any spirituality- just a Monastery. I grew into it after I entered

C: I didn’t think I had one either, but I do, and even a hidden “subsidiary” if you want to call it that5 PM

Sister : “A place” can call to you, in a sense, as well. That;s the Lord’s way sometimes

C: So I narrowed it down by visiting several different places and then praying about it and working through each experience after I left

Apr 7 2013, 7:46 PM

Sister : So if you feel comfortable somewhere, a convent for ex, that you are visiting, or any religious establishment, that may

Great advice

Guest726 (guest): I have visited a couple of communities but not yet felt one was the right fit.

C: Sometimes you have to visit more than one community that lives by a certain spirituality.

Guest726 (guest): It is particularly worrisome when one is of a certain age – and time is passing.

C: I have great admiration for St Benedict and his rule, but I had to visit two Benedictine monasteries to learn that they just plain wear me out

C: I hear you on that too, but I can tell you that it is possible

7:49 PM

Guest726 (guest): I like contemplative prayer – but I think Carmel would be too austere for me. Particularly the communities here in the UK.

C: Maybe not, because they vary from community to community here in the US. They might where you are too

Apr 7 2013, 7:50 PM

Sister : Are you near Waldron? There is a Visitation Monastery there that you might visit on a retreat

Apr 7 2013, 7:50 PM

Guest726 (guest): I have considered Waldron – but will wait until their building work is complete – they are moving.

Apr 7 2013, 7:51 PM

Sister : The important suggestion from before- having a good guide to help you

Very difficult these days, unfortunately

Apr 7 2013, 7:55 PM

Guest726 (guest): I would consider outside my country. However, the problem is compounded by the fact that I am currently the sole carer for my Mother. So, I am not free to enter even if I found my dream community.

Guest726 (guest): It would, however, be beneficial to gain some insights into communities I am interested in – during the interim.

Apr 7 2013, 7:56 PM

Sister : That is so- your primary responsibility is for your mother. But if you could be an asssociate with a community in the meantime- a lay associate- it would give you spiritual energy

Guest726 (guest): How do communities feel about candidates using the lay associates as a – forgive me – kind of stop-gap? Someone, told me once it was a no-no with third orders.

Apr 7 2013, 7:59 PM

Sister : It depends on the reason the associate program was formed. A true third order is a commitment in itself- a big one. But some associate programs are formed because candidates were not yet ready to enter.

Guest726 (guest): Thank you. That is interesting to know.

:

Sister : C in your visits to communities and meeting others have you seen similar situations as expressed here?

We had a woman waiting for 5 years for her daughter to graduate. She entered after that.

, 8:01 PM

C: In two communities I was the only inquirer present, so it didn’t really come up. But in the two where I was not alone, there were all sorts of interesting dilemmas

Guest726 (guest): Good to know I am not alone.

Apr 7 2013, 8:02 PM

Sister : Definitely not! You’re in good company

Apr 7 2013, 8:02 PM

C: Some people had adult children, some were caregivers,

some were exploring multiple traditions, including Zen.

03 PM

Guest726 (guest): That’s interesting because I sometimes thought that if it was really what God wanted he would make it simple. ,

Guest726 (guest): Now I am beginning to appreciate that is as much to be learnt from the journey as from the destination.

C: It is simple, but there is so much that is required too. Oh, you so have it there! PM

Guest726 (guest): there’s a poem… give me a second.

C: It has been a fabulous adventure. Occasionally frustrating as I seem to take two steps back and three sideways. But I always end up discovering I was really on track

Guest726 (guest): Ithaca8:05

Guest726 (guest): that’s the poem. Ithaca

Apr 7 2013, 8:05 PM

Sister Ithaca

When you set out for Ithaka
ask that your way be long,
full of adventure, full of instruction.
The Laistrygonians and the Cyclops,
angry Poseidon – do not fear them:
such as these you will never find
as long as your thought is lofty, as long as a rare
emotion touch your spirit and your body.
The Laistrygonians and the Cyclops,
angry Poseidon – you will not meet them
unless you carry them in your soul,
unless your soul raise them up before you.

Ask that your way be long.

At many a Summer dawn to enter
with what gratitude, what joy –
ports seen for the first time;
to stop at Phoenician trading centres,
and to buy good merchandise,
mother of pearl and coral, amber and ebony,
and sensuous perfumes of every kind,
sensuous perfumes as lavishly as you can;
to visit many Egyptian cities,
to gather stores of knowledge from the learned.

Apr 7 2013, 8:06 PM

Guest726 (guest): yes, that’s it. It kind of sums up what I am beginning to learn

Apr 7 2013, 8:07 PM

Sister Have Ithaka always in your mind.Your arrival there is what you are destined for.But don’t in the least hurry the journey.Better it last for years,so that when you reach the island you are old,rich with all you have gained on the way,not expecting Ithaka to give you wealth.Ithaka gave you a splendid journey.Without her you would not have set out.She hasn’t anything else to give you.And if you find her poor, Ithaka hasn’t deceived you.So wise you have become, of such experience,that already you’ll have unders

understood what these Ithakas mean.

Constantine P. Cavafy

Apr 7 2013, 8:07 PM

Guest726 (guest): If that is not applicable to my discernment i do not know what is.

Apr 7 2013, 8:07 PM

Sister Beautiful

06 PM

Guest726 (guest): yes, that’s it. It kind of sums up what I am beginning to learn

Apr 7 2013, 8:09 PM

C: oh this one is the right author http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/ithaca/

Ithaca by Constantine P. Cavafy

Apr 7 2013, 8:09 PM

Sister : Who said it- Rilke- you will live your questions into your own answers. Something like that- in Letters to a Young Poet

10 PM

C: It sounds like a paradox, but it’s true

Guest726 (guest): There is truth in that I feel

Sister : And comfort in the process:

C: yes, I know I catch myself thinking that if the process is slow that I have somehow failed

Guest726 (guest): Does one ever stop discerning?

Apr 7 2013, 8:12 PM

Sister : Good question!

Apr 7 2013, 8:12 PM

Guest726 (guest): I know it carries on certainly through the novitiate

Apr 7 2013, 8:12 PM

Sister : Actually, no

Apr 7 2013, 8:12 PM

Guest726 (guest): I thought not.

Apr 7 2013, 8:13 PM

Guest726 (guest): Does the nature of it change?

Apr 7 2013, 8:13 PM

Sister : Even beyond- not so much for the baseline vocation

But for all that springs up as you are living it

Obedience of course is the staple in that discernment

But once you get responsibilities or leadership charges the discernment shifts but it is there

Communities go through changes so often it is a communal discernment that happens

Guest726 (guest): I walked a labyrinth on a retreat once. I got a lot from it when I viewed God as it’s centre. I learned that sometimes when it seems to me I am actually furtherest away from God I am – in reality – closest.

013, 8:17 PM

SRMR: I’ve never walked a labyrinth, but it looks fascinating.

Apr 7 2013, 8:18 PM

C: it’s wonderful. on one retreat I even drew my own

PM

SRMR: For me, the more time before Our Lord in the Tabernacle, the clearer I think.

Apr 7 2013, 8:18 PM

Guest726 (guest): It was interesting. I got a lot from it that helped me understand aridity

8:18 PM

Guest726 (guest): Which I get quite a bit of. , 8:19 PM

SRMR: Surrounded by the desert of relativism, it’s easy to fall into aridity, that’s for sure!

Sister How did the labyrinth help with aridity?

Apr 7 2013, 8:21 PM

R: been working a billion hours of overtime… I had an email with the Toledo Visitation and thought I’m gonna make it tonight, no matter what.. I just got home, so here I am, better late than never

Apr 7 2013, 8:22 PM

SRMR: In light of the Annunciation tomorrow I’ve been more aware of how Mary’s humility is the foundation of her “discernment.”

Apr 7 2013, 8:22 PM

Sister Are you trying Toledo?

Apr 7 2013, 8:22 PM

PM

Guest726 (guest): simply be giving me a practical demonstration of how it is possible that when I feel furtherest from God. I am actually closest. simply be giving me a practical demonstration of how it is possible that when I feel furtherest from God. I am actually closest.

Apr 7 2013, 8:23 PM

Sister Great community

Apr 7 2013, 8:23 PM

R: I’m going to visit a couple of Carmels (the one here and another, trying to decide which), hopefully Toledo, and I’m also talking to a poor clares monastery.

R: Advice from my sd… try for several orders and see where God leads me

R: but I’ve been interested in both the Carmel here and Toledo since the beginning

Sister : It’s interesting the advice your director gave you, visit several communities and let God lead

The Director is not asking you to determine your spirituality as the communities are all different

PM

SRMR: Yes, experience the life in each community and then pray that God lead you as He wishes. 30 PM

R: yes.. she has me reading two books too.. a right to be merry (about live in a poor clares convent) and My Beloved (about Carmelites)

and a big ole list of questions

SRMR: I love SFdS’s comparison of Our Lord to a magnet: “just as the iron, if free from all obstacles and from its own weight, would be powerfully yet gently drawn with the steady attraction by the magnet, so too the most Blessed Mother, since there is nothing in her to impede the operation of her son’s divine love, was united with Him.” (Treatise on the Love of God) 13, 8:32 PM

R I keep trying to read it but when I start I fall asleep lol.. no wonder with all the hours I’m working. The overtime was SUPPOSED to be over come April, but we’re still goinghe problem is, with all this overtime, it’s tough to get the reading done. bc I just pass out when not working lol

32 PM

SRMR: So, like Our Lady, I just need to remove all obstacles to Our Lord’s drawing me to Himself. That’s the best way of all to discern, I think.

R: I think so too!

6 o

3 PM

C: Yes, He is a magnet for me for sure!

Apr 7 2013, 8:34 PM

SRMR: He’ll make it clear where He’s drawing you.

PM

Sister : The magnet image is very helpful- thank you Sister!

Apr 7 2013, 8:35 PM

SRMR: I love that we can absolutely trust Him to draw us, as long as we have our priorities right: serving Him and His people come first.

36 PM

: If I start thinking about my own interests and comfort, I’m lost in a maze, not on Our Lord’s labyrinth. 8:37 PM

Sister : Wonderful distinction and another sure guide

PM

C: yes, since a maze is a trick, it is not holyPM

SRMR: I like this letter of spiritual direction of SFdS’s: God knows who we are and will hold out His fatherly hand to us when we stumble and are unsure, so that nothing may stop us. But to reap the full joy of this grace we must trust Him utterly.” PM

C: Like Father said today-the handle to the door is on the inside, and we have to open the door and let Him in

Apr 7 2013, 8:40 PM

Guest726 (guest): “Jesus. I trust in you.”

Apr 7 2013, 8:40 PM

SRMR: I really like the image of God holding my hand, not just holding me in His hand (as the song goes)!

Apr 7 2013, 8:41 PM

C: Yes, because if He’s holding our hand, He’s walking with us

1 PM

SRMR: and pointing out the right way – the way He wants us to walk

Apr 7 2013, 8:42 PM

SRMR: the person He wants us to marry or the community He wants us to be part of

not always an easy way to walk, but the right one, we can be sure

3 PM

C: Yes, and then we have to practice listening and being patient4 PM

SRMR: Yes, that’s where I push myself aside and put the other person first. 46 PM