Open Forum led to a Long Discussion on Religious Life!

Sister Susan Marie: One thing I can pose is candidates who explore several Visitation communities or those of another order. Why or how do they differ?

Aug 25 2013, 7:26 PM

L: That’s a good question! They all seem to have something unique about them.

Sister Susan Marie: Yes because while Constitutions are the same Customs may differ

Aug 25 2013, 7:27 PM

K: I think they differ because of the charism of the founder

Sister Susan Marie: That usually grows out of historical situations, the culture of the area a monastery may be in, and interpretation of the Constitutions

L: So many of these charisms are interesting! How to know what to focus on?

O: are aspirants allowed to read these constitutions?

Sister Susan Marie: In the monastery yes they can read them

Sister Susan Marie: One way to focus is simply by visiting the community and see how they are lived out

Sister Susan Marie: Each Founder does have a different charism but monasteries of the same Order should all be similar in charism

L: How do you know if your questions are silly?

K: please explain the difference in the rule, the constitutions and the spiritual directory Sister

Sister Susan Marie: I don’t think questions are ever silly if meant sincerely

K: Yes how they are lived out is very important

Sister Susan Marie: That’s good question . The rule is the rule of St Augustine. St Francis did not write his own. It is fairly detailed about detailed things but with an underlying theology.

Sister Susan Marie: The Constitutions are what actually govern the Order from the theology to the way of life to juridical norms for the institute

Sister Susan Marie: The Spiritual Directory is a way of life, almost, unique to St Francis in this case, that gives you the spiritual sentiment underlying all your actions and for each part of the day

L: I didn’t realize St. Francis didn’t write his own.

Sister Susan Marie: The Rule in our case is a historical work that we do not refer to much at all. We use the Constitutions and Spiritual Directory mostly

Sister Susan Marie: No St Francis used St Augustine’s Rule because St Francis did not intend to create an Order, just a simple community

L: I knew about the Constitutions and the Rule from a Sister friend of mine but I didn’t know about the Spiritual Directory

Sister Susan Marie: But when Rome and others felt it should be a formal Order, he chose St Augustine

L: Oh I see

Sister Susan Marie: The Directory is what we actually try to live moment to moment. Years ago they memorized it in the Novitiate. A commentary exists for it which is very spiritual and helpful, by Mother Ponnet

Sister Susan Marie: We are very rich in spiritual writings

K: can we access that commentary

L: Is it available to anyone to look at?

Sister Susan Marie: On line? I do not think it’s on line but we have many copies here

Sister Susan Marie: It might be in French on line.

Sister Susan Marie: The Directory is a combo of practical and spiritual!

L: Wonderful

O: before visiting a community i think it would be helpful if one could have an idea or a guide to what to expect

Sister Susan Marie: Mother Marie Madeleine Ponnet’s wisdom, gleaned in her deep interior life of mystical prayer, is timeless in its ability to touch souls.

She suggests, “ Ask of Our Lord for the grace to make each of the acts of your life filled with the immensity of His own Love.”

Sister Susan Marie: You can look up Mother Madeleine Ponnet

Sister Susan Marie: Commentary on the Spiritual Directory

Sister Susan Marie: It’s probably on E Bay from somewhere

L: I will, thank you

Sister Susan Marie: We have many hard copies here

Sister Susan Marie: I’m sure the copyright on it is no longer in effect- perhaps I can post some sections

K: thank you Sister

L: I hope to look at one when I come to visit, it’s the practical questions about the life that always interest me along with the spiritual!

Sister Susan Marie: St Francis did say that if a Visitandine could not follow the Directory, not out of obstinacy but because the Holy Spirit led her in another way, that is ok

Sister Susan Marie: Mother Marie Madeleine Ponnet’s wisdom, gleaned in her deep interior life of mystical prayer, is timeless in its ability to touch souls.

She suggests, “ Ask of Our Lord for the grace to make each of the acts of your life filled with the immensity of His own Love.”

Aug 25 2013, 7:41 PM

K: that’s beautiful

Sister Susan Marie: The Directory is filled with thought s like that- at least her commentary is

Aug 25 2013, 7:42 PM

L: That is much for meditation in that statement!

7:43 PM

Sister Susan Marie: I knead my life with the Divine Life. This union is so intimate and bound together that His life takes the place of my life. Everything is within this union, even physical strength; not a movement that does not flow out of His, to speak I unite my lips with His, I unite my hands with His hands, to read, I unite my eyes and my intelligence with His; it is all together.”

O: i would say spiritual and physical…what is allowed what is not …how ist compares with active or non active orders etc

Sister Susan Marie: Yes I see what you would find helpful- maybe even basics of the religious life

L: I love that! I would like my life to disappear into His!

K: one heart, one soul

Aug 25 2013, 7:46 PM

Sister Susan Marie: Here’s another of Her thoughts

She says:Mother Ponnet prays: “O Jesus! I cannot accept that there would be even the smallest mixture in me of anything but You alone! Your love, your pleasure! My sweet Savior Jesus, my Bridegroom, my divine Model, which was your occupation your entire time here on earth. My Lord Jesus, I surrender myself to your work, your actions, your operation.”

L: Yes!

K: what freedom

O: this sound exactly like a prayer i wrote back in 1989…beautiful and heartfelt.

Aug 25 2013, 7:47 PM

Sister Susan Marie: It’s a very interior life

L: That is what my soul craves I think; more of an interior depth

Aug 25 2013, 7:48 PM

Sister Susan Marie: The exterior rules, like enclosure, are to support the development of this kind of interior life. The silence too

K: I crave time to spend in silence, prayer, spiritual reading…

L: How much silence do you practice?

Sister Susan Marie: We are in silence from the time we awake until halfway thru 12 Noon dinner- unless you teach a class in school

Sister Susan Marie: And of course the Office is prayed aloud!

K: how many of the sisters do teach school?

Sister Susan Marie: Then we talk for half the meal until after clean-up and then silence again until after supper- cleanup and recreation

Sister Susan Marie: Right now we have 5 or 6 in the school-

Sister Susan Marie: we have 2 Novices, and 3 Professed teaching

K: wow all the silence sounds great

L: You have Grand Silence?

Sister Susan Marie: And I am serving as liason for the Superior with the school so I go over there several times a week to consult with the Principal

Aug 25 2013, 7:52 PM

Sister Susan Marie: Yes after night prayer Grand Silence

L: I did a silent retreat once and it took me about 24hours for my mind to settle down and be quiet! It was wonderful and hard to go back into the world with all the noise

I realized how much people have a feeling they have to fill the silence with something

Sister Susan Marie: St Jane de Chantal believed deeply in silence

l

K: silence is the language of God

Aug 25 2013, 7:56 PM

Sister Susan Marie: She said that the best way to restore a disordered monastery was s ilence- and the way to destroy a monastery often came thru the loss of silence

L: God’s work is in the silence I think!

Aug 25 2013, 7:56 PM

Sister Susan Marie: Yes K you are so right. That is His precious g

Sister Susan Marie: Some of the other rules that help support interior life are the simple things like closing a door quietly for ex

K: there seems to be a link between the Visitation and Benedictines, I’ve noticed many Benedictines who have translated Visitation writings

Aug 25 2013, 8:00 PM

L: Yes, I’m beginning to see that. I try to practice these things in my secular life also

Sister Susan Marie: Yes they say these 2 Orders are the most similar

Sister Susan Marie: Carmelites are more eremitic I am told

K: what does eremitic mean?

Sister Susan Marie: hermit

Sister Susan Marie: There is the quality of living more solitary in the Carmelite Order

L: Even in the Secular Carmelites

Aug 25 2013, 8:03 PM

Sister Susan Marie: How do they do that there?

L: We have community meetings once a month to bring everyone together but we are encouraged to live this life quietly in our stations in life. For a lot of us living alone; it looks like hermit living almost

Sister Susan Marie: I see- so you then would have a good sense of the hermit life

Sister Susan Marie: There is a wonderful community of Hermits in NJ; Hermits of Bethlehem of the Heart of Jesus

L:       I struggle with not much community life to give me support although I have really grown spiritually

Yes I have heard of them

K: so do they live in hermitages

Sister Susan Marie: Yes each in her/his own hermitage with the Blessed Sacrament

L: There is a hermit sister who lives outside of Boise. She is an amazing woman!

Sister Susan Marie: http://www.bethlehemhermits.org/

Sister Susan Marie: Have you met her?

L: Yes, she comes into town now and then for appointments so she comes to Mass at our church!

Mary Roberta Viano: Hello!

L: Hello Sister!

Sister Susan Marie: I was just going to suggest we discuss expectations of support in community life

Mary Roberta Viano: There are Carmelite hermits in Crestone, CO, too.

Sister Susan Marie: Since you indicated that

L: Yes that would be great!

Mary Roberta Viano: What kind of support?

K: are sisters allowed to speak to each other personally

Aug 25 2013, 8:12 PM

Sister Susan Marie: That’s what I think L can share- what you meant by that- since you felt it would help you

Mary Roberta Viano: Our sisters are, but silence is encouraged most of the day.

Sister Susan Marie: Yes, at certain times, not just anytime-

K: I mean about personal matters

Mary Roberta Viano: Not complaining!

L: I think maybe;and I am thinking as I type; I quess I feel too alone sometimes although I know I am never alone! God is always with me!

Mary Roberta Viano: We speak to the Mother Superior about personal matters.

K: thank you Sister Mary Roberta

Sister Susan Marie: I think when our novices take a walk together they are speaking personaly

Mary Roberta Viano: It’s a challenge to be alone with the ALONE and discover who I really am!

Sister Susan Marie: But as Sr Roberta said, discretion is important so the Superior should know serious matters

K: yes I understand

Mary Roberta Viano: I like having enough silence to dive deep in prayer without distractions.

Sister Susan Marie: When one gets sick for ex in community there is some Sister there to help. You don’t have to call a friend and say come on over to help me

Mary Roberta Viano: Of course, we come together several times a day to pray the Office as a community.

Mary Roberta Viano: And we interact with our school community every day.

L: It must be helpful to have others around you with the same mind set in a way and to have that support readily available. I think that’s what I am feeling a lack of with the Secular community although, please understand, that they are wonderful people and I have learned so much

Mary Roberta Viano: Yes, I like having the support of others who feel that prayer is the real foundation of our lives.

L: I love the sense of coming together as a community to pray, recreate, discuss ect.

Mary Roberta Viano: And what a privilege to have a chapel located across from my current bedroom!

Sister Susan Marie: Did you move?

L: Oh how wonderful for you!

Aug 25 2013, 8:19 PM

Mary Roberta Viano: Our Lord in the Blessed Sacrament two paces away!

Mary Roberta Viano: Yes, I’m on the 3rd floor of our monastery now.

L: Do you get moved around?

Aug 25 2013, 8:19 PM

Mary Roberta Viano: not the 4th, where I was for 10 years

In the Visitation, we used to change rooms every year

Mary Roberta Viano: The sisters used to switch rooms every year – detachment.

Sister Susan Marie: But with older Sisters it was heard so we change less often now

Mary Roberta Viano: Now it’s done less often with so many in the infirmary.

L: When you are a postulant; are you able to be in contact with your family and how does that look?

Sister Susan Marie: See we are saying the ssame things from 2 different Visitation monasteries!

Sister Susan Marie: Monthly visits from the family if they are near by

K: what about home visits

L: What about calling grown children?

Aug 25 2013, 8:23 PM

Mary Roberta Viano: The Mother Superior decides.

Sister Susan Marie: THe Visitation Order in general is papally enclosed with no home visits BUT in the Second Federation we have home visits. We get 7 days a year to go visit family in Bklyn

Sister Susan Marie: No we can still call

Mary Roberta Viano: We have the same.

Aug 25 2013, 8:24 PM

L: What about if your family is far away; they need to come and see you at the monastery?

Sister Susan Marie: Calls would not be more frequent than once a week here. How many children you have might make a difference I don;t know. Each situation is different

Sister Susan Marie: In Brooklyn they can come visit but our guest quarters are not great. Geogetown were better

Sister Susan Marie: We have a retreat area family can stay in, a priest’s room for a man

Mary Roberta Viano: We have rooms in wing that used to be for school boarders.

L: Ok here is a silly one; is one allowed to read anything other than spiritual materials?

Mary Roberta Viano: We have rooms in wing that used to be for school boarders.

K: if family travels a distance to visit, in what way would one be able to visit them

Aug 25 2013, 8:27 PM

Sister Susan Marie: In the parlors

L: Is there a grille?

Mary Roberta Viano: Some of our sisters read novels – not risque’ ones, though.

Sister Susan Marie: No grille

Mary Roberta Viano: No grille in G’town

Mary Roberta Viano: But family and guests are not allowed into our rooms – only in parlors.

Aug 25 2013, 8:28 PM

L: I love books; just wondering!

Sister Susan Marie: The novice directress would advise you on reading until temporary profession in Bklyn

Sister Susan Marie: You are giving up yourself in a way- that is the hardest for people to deal with

Mary Roberta Viano: Our sisters have access to the public library, the school library, and the G’town U. library.

Sister Susan Marie: You are being re-made so to speak, but gently, paced out, until you grasp the life- when you have certain freedoms no longer adversely affect that development

Mary Roberta Viano: We also have a good monastery library.

K: if family only understood it would be easier

Sister Susan Marie: No public library- just our own and the Academy library

Sister Susan Marie: Family’s often do not understand and that is part of the process and it is painful

R: K pray my family didn’t at first, now they do and are supportive

K:: thanks R

Aug 25 2013, 8:32 PM

L: My sons are struggling with all of this!

Sister Susan Marie: Anyone can speak to that?

R: my oldest daughter told me that for her it was a process of giving mom to God

Mary Roberta Viano: Yes, my sister used to say, “Why are you letting those women tell you what to do?!”

Sister Susan Marie: Most of our new members since 2000 are moms so they have been thru vrs stages of that.

L:: I get that too from my sister when I told her I was discerning this call

K: I suppose the best thing is for them to see you truly happy

Mary Roberta Viano: My sons like the ME I’ve become since entering – even more than the ME before1

L: That’s nice to know!

Mary Roberta Viano: Good for me to see how God has worked on me!

L: My friends think I’m crazy

Aug 25 2013, 8:34 PM

R: lol same here

Mary Roberta Viano: Good crazy!

K: all of my friends are supportive, but family is not even Catholic.

R: one of my coworkers announced at a company meeting that “R’s going to the ‘nunnery'”

L: When I talk to my friend who is a Sister; I always feel better!

Aug 25 2013, 8:35 PM

Mary Roberta Viano: My family isn’t Catholic either.

K:  thanks for sharing that Sister Roberta

Mary Roberta Viano: You let the insults go in one ear and out the other.

Aug 25 2013, 8:36 PM

L: My family isn’t either! My sons don’t go to church anymore

R: K, my family isn’t Catholic either, but my daughter has seen what’s happened to me by entering the Church and she’s very curious herself

L: You are lucky!

K: in the years since I entered the Church, I’ve seen some softening

Mary Roberta Viano: My two sons are out of the Church.

R: luckily my boss is a faithful Catholic, he’s working with me to help me with my vocation2013,

Mary Roberta Viano: It’s important to have a spiritual director to work things through with.

R: the problem is that it’s hard to find a spiritual director these days

K: Yes and one is very blessed to find a good one

L: I just found one with a wonderful priest who actually is the director for the Secular Carmelites!

Mary Roberta Viano: Any faithful-Catholic friend, man or woman, is good.

Mary Roberta Viano: if a priest isn’t available

M

Mary Roberta Viano: In my 3-plus decades of being a Catholic, though, I’ve never had trouble finding a priest-director.

R:: yes, I was talking for years with the extern sister at the carmel, but she’s now cloistered and now I’m talking to a deacon and I have a actual spiritual director in Calfornia that we email back and forth and talk on the phone

Mary Roberta Viano: God provides!

L:: Well, I must go now! God blessings to everyone!

Mary Roberta Viano: and chat rooms!