Last week’s topic was very similar. Why do you think it is so important to have exclusively pure and holy friendships?
What do you think is the danger in having unhealthy friendships? If someone is “bad for us,” shouldn’t it be our job to help them become holy?
Have you ever had an unhealthy friendship like Saint Francis warns against that you were able to cut out of your life? Please share with us some wisdom on what you learned from this experience?
Guest7654 (Guest): (Judy) Is everybody to discuss this topic yet again?
Feb 19 2017, 7:31 PM
Feb 19 2017, 7:31 PMGuest7654 (Guest): (Judy) should be is everybody ready
Feb 19 2017, 7:32 PM
Dawn (Guest): thank you Judy.I may have a question later
Feb 19 2017, 7:32 PM
Feb 19 2017, 7:32 PM
Guest7654 (Guest): (Judy) Welcome guest 9707! Is that you Brian?
Feb 19 2017, 7:33 PM
Guest9707 (Guest): Hi Lisa , Carol Ann , Sister Susan , Dawn , and Judy ! God Bless You ! Brian
Dawn (Guest): I understand he is speaking of “evil” friendships specifically…is this what you understand?
Feb 19 2017, 7:35 PM
Guest7654 (Guest): (Judy) Ok, Now for the first question on the importance or having pure and holy friendships. Pure and holy friendships will be a help to both parties in pursuing lives of devotion and holiness. The parties will strive together and support each other in growing in love, devotion and service to Jesus and the Church. Unhealthy relationships could have the opposite result.l
Feb 19 2017, 7:35 PM
Guest7654 (Guest): (Judy) Hi Brian!
Feb 19 2017, 7:37 PM
Carol Ann: Like a marriage in a way. The friendship must be based in Christ
Feb 19 2017, 7:37 PM
Guest7654 (Guest): (Judy) Spot on Carol Ann!
Feb 19 2017, 7:39 PM
Guest9707 (Guest): The world really pushes unhealthy relationships God is always teaching us to have healthy relationships
Feb 19 2017, 7:39 PM
Dawn (Guest): so mutual growing closer to Christ is nurtured by the friendship
Feb 19 2017, 7:40 PM
Guest7654 (Guest): (Judy) If it is centered on Christ.
Feb 19 2017, 7:41 PM
Guest9707 (Guest): Soo true Judy !
Feb 19 2017, 7:41 PM
Carol Ann: And it can be very hard to stay focused on our own inner work instead of the inner work the other person needs to do
Feb 19 2017, 7:41 PM
Guest7654 (Guest): (Judy) The world is caught up in a sexualized and secularized mind set and seems to be having no inclination to change.
Feb 19 2017, 7:43 PM
Guest7654 (Guest): (Judy) It makes me wonder if those of us who are committed to the Lord are perhaps not giving them sufficient reason to change. Maybe they are not seeing in us a life that challenges them to change.
Feb 19 2017, 7:43 PM
Guest9707 (Guest): Make a friend , be a friend , introduce that friend to Christ !
Feb 19 2017, 7:44 PM
Guest7654 (Guest): (Judy) Perhaps we are not vocal enough.
Feb 19 2017, 7:45 PM
Carol Ann: I think you are right, Judy. Our churches and our friendships don’t seem to challenge the status quo to change. I think our success lies more on the individual level
Feb 19 2017, 7:45 PM
Guest7654 (Guest): (Judy) You remember that saying “Preach the Gospel always; use words if necessary.” Well maybe the time has come to use words, and strong words.
Feb 19 2017, 7:45 PM
Dawn (Guest): I think of the other St Francis….preach the gospel always and when necessary use words
Feb 19 2017, 7:46 PM
Dawn (Guest): Judy we thought of same at same haha
Feb 19 2017, 7:46 PM
Guest9707 (Guest): It takes time , we live in a world that constantly seeks immediate gratification . When we spend time with people over a period of time we can naturally introduce them to Christ !
Feb 19 2017, 7:48 PM
Guest7654 (Guest): (Judy) When I look at something like spiritdaily, I see a Church that is embroiled in internal conflict and not looking to speak the words needed by society.
Feb 19 2017, 7:49 PM
Guest9707 (Guest): Believe it or not people really are drawn toward healthy relationships over time when they begin to heal they are drawn to Christ !
Feb 19 2017, 7:50 PM
Carol Ann: Unless we can help people see that the internal dialog is a healthy expression of faith
Feb 19 2017, 7:53 PM
Lisa C: Now I am beginning to wonder what St. FdS considers friendship vs. charity to all. Everyone is a child of God. God is in everyone. Are we not supposed to treat everyone like Jesus? There must be a difference between friendship and not bypassing people in need. Jesus will separate the sheep from the goats, but we should help everyone and love everyone.
Feb 19 2017, 7:54 PM
Guest7654 (Guest): (Judy) Re: question 2–on the danger of unhealthy relationships. Unhealthy relationships have the risk of endangering or even destroying the spiritual growth or either or both parties. We wouldn’t thing of taking a walk together in the line of a firing squad thinking that we could dodge the bullets and return from the walk unscathed.
Feb 19 2017, 7:55 PM
Lisa C: Matthew 25:31-46 The Sheep and the Goats31 “When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his glorious throne. 32 All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. 33 He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left.34 “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since th
Feb 19 2017, 7:55 PM
Guest9707 (Guest): God wants us to be out building relationships with everyone even our enemies . Great quote from Abe Lincoln at Mass today.”Don’t I destroy my enemies when I make them my friends ” .
Feb 19 2017, 7:55 PM
Carol Ann: We do treat every one like Jesus, but we all have companions on our journey. Christ had the apostles as friends during His earthly life. And He calls us friends too
Feb 19 2017, 7:55 PM
Lisa C: the creation of the world. 35 For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36 I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’
Feb 19 2017, 7:55 PM
Guest7654 (Guest): (Judy) Chances that one or both may be hit and either seriously or mortally wounded. So an unhealthy relationship can result in serious or mortal wounds to the life of the soul. If someone is bad for us, our first job is to save our own souls. the chance of helping the other could be slim.
Feb 19 2017, 7:56 PM
Lisa C: 37 “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38 When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39 When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’
40 “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’
PM
Carol Ann: And that, Judy, leads to very painful decisions. Because we are all still growing, there may be times we are called to grow in different fields58 PM
Lisa C: How do you reject someone and not reject Jesus
Feb 19 2017, 7:58 PM
VisitationSiste: Yes Carol Anne- that happened to me in a way when I entered Some people could never accept my decision I lost a life long friend- but it was not the healthiest anyway
Feb 19 2017, 7:59 PM
Carol Ann: Having to separate for the good of both souls is not rejection
Feb 19 2017, 7:59 PM
Lisa C: I guess it is discernment. If they will not listen then shake the dust off your feet.
Feb 19 2017, 7:59 PM
VisitationSiste: Carol Anne, that is an excellent statement- the good of both souls. That’s what I experienced myself
:00 PM
Carol Ann: We are not able to companion perfectly. Some friends are given only for a season
Feb 19 2017, 8:00 PM
Guest7654 (Guest): (Judy) But I don’t think that that means engaging in a friendship with them. We are called to meet their physical needs–food, drink, clothing, but not necessarily to some kind of intimacy with them.
0 PM
VisitationSiste: Sometimes its a very long season!
Feb 19 2017, 8:00 PM
Lisa C: Yes, that is why I a
:00 PM
Lisa C: Yes, that is why I am saying that there is a difference between friendship and charity
Feb 19 2017, 8:01 PM
PM
Guest7654 (Guest): (Judy) Yes, they are two different kinds of love; one a personal one and the other a more impersonal one.
Feb 19 2017, 8:02 PM
Feb 19 2017, 8:02 PM
Guest7654 (Guest): (Judy) Gee, Mother, talk about rigidity!
Feb 19 2017, 8:02 PM
VisitationSiste: Charity in this case was agreeing with this- because it was better for the other’s soul
Feb 19 2017, 8:03 PM
VisitationSiste: and mine too no doubt-
Feb 19 2017, 8:03 PM
Guest9707 (Guest): My cousin Dans wife Claudia left him and the kids and she eventually had relationship with man who took her away from all her family support and eventually moved to other side of country . She was horifically shot by him . She hung on for life as Dan and kids rushed to be with her . They were able to be with her for few days before she passed . These terrible relationships must be avoided!
:04 PM
Dawn (Guest): ” to see and understand love, goodness, compassion and forgiveness in others they must first be developed in ourselves. then we will come to a better understanding of the scripture verse: Love your neighbor as yourself” – Mt 22:39 quote from Fr Gerald today.
Feb 19 2017, 8:04 PM
Guest7654 (Guest): (Judy) What a sad story, Brian.
Feb 19 2017, 8:04 PM
VisitationSiste: that is traumatic Brian
, 8:04 PM
VisitationSiste: But the love of the family was there5 PM
VisitationSiste: Charity was expressed by Dan and children
Feb 19 2017, 8:06 PM
Guest9707 (Guest): The enemy is always trying to lure us away from our Christian support . Please pray for my Son Mitch he has stopped going to church and the hurts in his life have made him feel abandoned by God !
Feb 19 2017, 8:06 PM
Lisa C: Love and friendship too, by Dan
Feb 19 2017, 8:06 PM
Guest7654 (Guest): (Judy) Do you know if Dan and the family were able to maintain their faith in the midst of such a tragedy?
9 PM
Guest9707 (Guest): Soo many prayers for Dan it was amazing what God was able to do but it was an terrible time for them . Emily and Ian to lose Mom soo tragically!
Feb 19 2017, 8:10 PM
Guest7654 (Guest): (Judy) Yes, the loss of a parent is surely a trauma for a child.
12 PM
VisitationSiste: Do you think God has a purpose for allowing an “unhealthy” friendship? I often wonder about why people get attracted to those that would not be “good” for them
Feb 19 2017, 8:13 PM
Lisa C: Immaturity
3 PM
Lisa C: Young people cannot always tell
Feb 19 2017, 8:13 PM
Guest9707 (Guest): Emily wrote the most beautiful letter as her Mom was passing away . It was like God was showing Herbert gift for writing before her Mo
Feb 19 2017, 8:13 PM
Guest7654 (Guest): (Judy) My own dad was killed in a Korean prison came when I was 6 years old. I only lived with him for a year and a half of my life. It seems that the older I grow, the more I miss him
7, 8:13 PM
Guest9707 (Guest): Mom passed away . PM
VisitationSiste: Is there a purpose to the immaturity?
Feb 19 2017, 8:14 PM
Guest9707 (Guest): I am soo sorry Judy !
Feb 19 2017, 8:15 PM
Guest7654 (Guest): (Judy) Perhaps there are lessons to be learned from being in an unhealthy relationship, such as being more cautious in the choice of friends.
Feb 19 2017, 8:15 PM
Lisa C: I think naive people do not expect the other person to betray them. They expect that the other person will be like they are.
Feb 19 2017, 8:15 PM
Carol Ann: I am sorry too, Judy
Feb 19 2017, 8:16 PM
Lisa C: Mother, there is a purpose for everything. Isn’t it always God’s will when things happen. We do not always understand what the purpose is, but there is one.
Feb 19 2017, 8:16 PM
Guest7654 (Guest): (Judy) And we may not find out the purpose until we reach eternal life.
PM
Dawn (Guest): I believe God can not make bad things happen but in his love and mercy he can bring good out of it. Even when we make mistakes or bad decisions. If we surrender what we do to him0 PM
VisitationSiste: I see life as a spiritual battle very often and a soul strengthening arena.
Feb 19 2017, 8:20 PM
Lisa C: I think immaturity might be the wrong word. Naive is a better word. Sheltered in a holy place like VA and then going out and finding the world is not the same as how you were brought up is just a shock.
Feb 19 2017, 8:20 PM
VisitationSiste: These challenges help us grow
PM
Guest9707 (Guest): God has graciously given us free will . When we are hurting the enemy will try to attack us with unhealthy relationships to break down our support to try to isolate us to destroy us . Our enemy is a predator . That is why we must not stop praying ! PM
Dawn (Guest): Amen! Brian
Feb 19 2017, 8:21 PM
Lisa C: I just believed everyone was good.
Feb 19 2017, 8:21 PM
Guest7654 (Guest): (Judy) And sometimes we learn the purpose here on earth. In 1996, my car was stolen from under by bedroom window two weeks to the day that my mom went home to the Lord. I was in the middle of radiation treatments for cancer. In prayer I asked why He had allowed this happen with all the other stuff that was going on. I heard in my heart, “To save your life.” I was totally exhausted and my concentration was not in top form.
Feb 19 2017, 8:22 PM
Guest7654 (Guest): (judy) I could have killed someone because of my state. I immediately thanked Him for His action in my life and the loss of the car.
:22 PM
Lisa C: Judy, I am glad that you were close enough to Him to hear Him
Feb 19 2017, 8:22 PM
VisitationSiste: Yes!
17, 8:23 PM
VisitationSiste: Did anyone else by the way have a story of grace? For that certainly is one Judy!
Feb 19 2017, 8:24 PM
VisitationSiste: With your permission I can include that IN our hopeful new page which has some “bugs”
PM
Guest9707 (Guest): Praise God for His Protection Judy !!!
Feb 19 2017, 8:25 PM
Guest7654 (Guest): (Judy) Funny, I did not think of that story when you mentioned a collection. Yes, you do have my permission to include it in the collection.
25 PM
Carol Ann: I do, and will have to write it for you
Feb 19 2017, 8:26 PM
Dawn (Guest): I do also and can send it to your email
Feb 19 2017, 8:26 PM
Lisa C: I have the one about the Holy Spirit having me pray when M was in the burning car and I did not know
27 PM
Lisa C: I was praying God please do not take her away from me
Feb 19 2017, 8:27 PM
Lisa C: I did not know why I was praying that
Feb 19 2017, 8:27 PM
Lisa C: Found out later
Feb 19 2017, 8:27 PM
Dawn (Guest): Mother, will these stories be available to those visiting the website?
Feb 19 2017, 8:28 PM
VisitationSiste: If we want them to be- what is our consensus
:28 PM
Carol Ann: I think it might be a good inspiration for people9 PM
Guest7654 (Guest): (Judy) isn’t our purpose to help others to see the workings of God in our ordinary lives? If so, then others should be able to read these accounts.
Feb 19 2017, 8:29 PM
Dawn (Guest): it is fine for me, just if public not to add identifying information. but yes I think it will be I hope it will be helpful for others!
7, 8:29 PM
Lisa C: I agree
Feb 19 2017, 8:30 PM
VisitationSiste: Yes that is my thought too.
PM
Lisa C: I wish you could say more about Sr. Margaret Mary
Feb 19 2017, 8:31 PM
Dawn (Guest): this is the Holy Spirit moving! Thank you Jesus
Feb 19 2017, 8:31 PM
Guest9707 (Guest): My Fatherinlaw was driving to work back in 70s he was hit by two drunk drivers at 90 miles a hour his body was found in ditch he had powerful near death experience .said he truly felt peace of Christ . He was in hospital months his friends kept his garage open . Both men were killed no insurance . He would have lost everything if it wasn’t for friends . He is now 86 and he still works 5 days a week at gas station his son now runs ! Praise God !!!!
Feb 19 2017, 8:32 PM
VisitationSiste: closed all week at school
Feb 19 2017, 8:32 PM
Carol Ann: Wow, Brian
Feb 19 2017, 8:32 PM
Guest7654 (Guest): (Judy) Our God is an awesome God for sure!!!
33 PM
Lisa C: Maybe you have pictures ?
Feb 19 2017, 8:34 PM
Guest7654 (Guest): (Judy) Let us send up some special prayers for our President tomorrow, Presidents’ Day. He is up against some strong criticism. May the Lord guide all of his decisions. Good night, everyone!
Feb 19 2017, 8:34 PM
Guest9707 (Guest): God Bless You All ! Soo nice to have such good Christian friends to share with ! Brian
Feb 19 2017, 8:35 PM
VisitationSiste: Prayers for all and have a blessed week!
Feb 19 2017, 8:35 PM
Carol Ann: God bless us, every one !
Feb 19 2017, 8:35 PM
Lisa C: God be praised!