VisitationSiste: Saint Francis mentions people who would warn against intimate friendships as a hindrance to a healthy spiritual life. What are your thoughts on this?
How can we be sure to keep friendships that are only good, holy, and true?
Why is it important to not stay in a friendship if it becomes damaging to our spiritual lives?
Guest1493 (guest): (Judy) Before we get started, I have to express a thought. I have to disagree with St. Francis when he says that religious have no need of strong individual friendships. I believe that they do need close friends who will support, encourage the challenge them as they strive for perfection. Certainly they have ongoing formation to lead them forward, but they still need individuals with whom to share joys, difficulties and failures
Feb 5 2017, 7:16 PM
Guest1493 (guest): Without such friends, they could feel totally isolated even in the midst of a community.
Feb 5 2017, 7:17 PM
Lisa C: I think that a spiritual director might serve that purpose.
Feb 5 2017, 7:18 PM
Lisa C: There also might be a difference between religious and contemplative cloistered religious.
Feb 5 2017, 7:19 PM
Guest1493 (guest): (Judy) Yes, a spiritual director could serve that purpose, but a director is on a different level. Friends are a sounding board.Directors are exactly that, directors.
Feb 5 2017, 7:21 PM
Guest1493 (guest): (Judy) Also, all human beings are in need of friendships. That need does not disappear when one puts on a habit. Jesus, Himself , had close friends, outside of the Apostles, Martha, Mary and Lazarus.
Feb 5 2017, 7:23 PM
Lisa C: Hermits and contemplatives are different, I think.
Feb 5 2017, 7:23 PM
Guest1493 (guest): (Judy) Could be.
VisitationSiste: I think friendship is a calling from God and a gift If He does not give it one can live without it But mostly he does gives friends
Feb 5 2017, 7:32 PM
Guest1493 (guest): (Judy) Mother, that might a good question to put to Sister Laurel O’Neill, a diocesan hermit. You can reach her at notesfromstillsong.
Carol Ann: Lisa, where I was it was discouraged to g
Carol Ann: Have only one particular friend, which could causevstrife, but to be equal friends with all
Feb 5 2017, 7:33 PM
Guest5912 (guest): Hi CarolAnn Sister Susan Lisa Dawn and Judy ! God Bless You ! Brian
4 PM
Guest1493 (guest): (Judy) Certainly having what they used to call a “particular” friend” friend (one with whom one associated almost exclusively would be dangerous and discouraged.
Feb 5 2017, 7:34 PM
7 PM
Guest1493 (guest): (Judy) Now on to the laity and friendship. Members of the laity need strong individual friendships because they do not necessarily have good formationor the good example of members of a community. The culture as a whole is centered on secular, matemrial and frequently, sexual gain.
Feb 5 2017, 7:37 PM
Guest5912 (guest): Hi Ruth! Brian
Feb 5 2017, 7:38 PM
VisitationSiste: St. Francis de Sales felt that true spiritual friendship resembles the dynamics of love within the Blessed Trinity.Father Alexander Pocetto, OSFS, explains:“The Salesian conception of spiritual friendship is grounded on the biblical truth that we are made in the image and likeness of God. This means that in our very make-up we were created and destined to love as God loves. “Just as God created man in his own image and likeness, so also did he ordain a love for man in the image and likeness of his divinity”
Feb 5 2017, 7:38 PM
Dawn (guest): Very much agree Judy! insightful
M
Guest1493 (guest): Laity seeking perfection in the spiritual life are centered on Jesus on the prescriptions of the Gospel, on giving to others, and living lives of purity of body, mind, spirit and intention. 39 PM
Lisa C: Mother, how would that definition make a distinction between a “friend” and loving people in a charitable way, because of agape love.
Feb 5 2017, 7:39 PM
Guest5912 (guest): Simple childlike Love for All !
Feb 5 2017, 7:40 PM
Lisa C: ?
Feb 5 2017, 7:40 PM
Ruth (guest): zHi Lisa, Carol Ann, Sr. Susan Marie, Dawn, and is that Judy and Brian or Brian and Judy?
Feb 5 2017, 7:41 PM
Guest1493 (guest): (Judy) Judy and Brian. Hi Ruth!
VisitationSiste: In order to enter into a spiritual friendship, people have to accept themselves as they are. We have to first be a friend to ourselves before we can become a friend to another. True friendship modeled after that of the Trinity requires that friends have a very profound respect for each other.
VisitationSiste: A friend is more intimate I think that a general charitable approach to all
7:43 PM
Guest5912 (guest): Soo True Sister
Feb 5 2017, 7:43 PM
Lisa C: Yes
Feb 5 2017, 7:43 PM
Guest1493 (guest): (Judy) Loving people in a charitable way can be extended even to people we do not know. Loving them in that sense means that we want whatever is best for them. Friendship means a personal relationship with the individual.
7, 7:44 PM
VisitationSiste: Heart to heart relationshipPM
VisitationSiste: Heart to heart relationship
Feb 5 2017, 7:44 PM
Guest1493 (guest): (Judy) Right on, Mother!
Feb 5 2017, 7:44 PM
Guest5912 (guest): True friendship can even be expressed in a one time encounter
Feb 5 2017, 7:45 PM
Lisa C: Close true friends become like family in my experience
Feb 5 2017, 7:45 PM
VisitationSiste: The dynamic aspect of Salesian love makes us readily understand and appreciate the reciprocity and communication that are essential to the love of friendship.”
Feb 5 2017, 7:45 PM
Ruth (guest): There is at least over time, reciprocity, in friendship. We are good for one another. Charity does not require that the other give back in any way — although sometimes they do.
Feb 5 2017, 7:45 PM
Guest5912 (guest): Example the Good Samaritan
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Carol Ann: In such a friendship people reveal their inner selves to e a ch other in a profound way and care must be taken to keep those secrets
Feb 5 2017, 7:46 PM
VisitationSiste: In my spiritual friendships there is an air of great freedom too
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Ruth (guest): Please say more about the freedom, Sister.
Feb 5 2017, 7:47 PM
Guest1493 (guest): (Judy) I disagree, Brian. The Good Samaritan proved himself a charitable person toward the man found dying by the side of the road. But friendship is an ongoing relationship that grows over a period of time.
Feb 5 2017, 7:47 PM
Lisa C: Maybe they become like family, because I want to share them with my family.
Feb 5 2017, 7:47 PM
VisitationSiste: One does not restrict the friend, or oneself either but the openness between the friends is unguarded
:49 PM
Ruth (guest): Ah, yes. I think we all long to be known well by at least one other and still loved, respected, cared about.
Feb 5 2017, 7:49 PM
VisitationSiste: How often we walk on eggshells with others- not so with true friends
49 PM
Guest1493 (guest): (Judy) M-m-m, so true, Mother! 49 PM
Guest5912 (guest): Doing the little and big things is also an action of friendship to anothe17, 7:49 PM
Guest5912 (guest): Doing the little and big things is also an action of friendship to another
Feb 5 2017, 7:50 PM
Dawn (guest): very true Mother
Feb 5 2017, 7:50 PM
VisitationSiste: Yes showing our friendship in action is important
Feb 5 2017, 7:50 PM
Ruth (guest): Then I think I have experienced more real friendship in my friendships than in my family. We were always “walking on eggshells” at home, it seems.
7, 7:51 PM
Carol Ann: I think that we are heading to the definition of spiritual friendship as being self-revelatory, reciprocal, honest and loyal
Feb 5 2017, 7:52 PM
Lisa C: and love of God
Feb 5 2017, 7:52 PM
Ruth (guest): Very good Carol Ann.
Feb 5 2017, 7:52 PM
Dawn (guest): expressive term, walking on eggshells. why do we do this?
Feb 5 2017, 7:52 PM
Guest1493 (guest): (Judy) Yes, we do little and big things within friendships. But we can also do something little or big for someone we meet once (Like giving food to someone begging on the street) but we never see the person and cannot consider him or her a friend.
Feb 5 2017, 7:52 PM
Ruth (guest): Dawn, I think so as not to aggravate another who is easily aggravated.
Feb 5 2017, 7:53 PM
Carol Ann: Mostly because of a lack of openness and an unwillingness to face issues and conflict
4 PM
Ruth (guest): Sort of “peace at any price!” — even when the peace is not REALLY peace but more like a truce!
Feb 5 2017, 7:54 PM
Guest5912 (guest): I think that some of the most special times I have had with friends has also been when we are just spending time together I think God really Loves us to always be together with Him
5 PM
Guest1493 (guest): (Judy) Yes indeed, Brian. I had a friend some years ago and every time I would visit him, we would spend time in the chapel and prayed together. They were very special moments!
Feb 5 2017, 7:56 PM
Carol Ann: Conflict here does not mean arGuin
Feb 5 2017, 7:56 PM
Ruth (guest): Yes, a spiritual friend, Sr. Charlotte, God rest her soul, used to say how her parents were with one another — simply enjoying one another’s presence without a word. And then after a long silence, suddenly both would be saying the same thing at the same time!
Feb 5 2017, 7:56 PM
Carol Ann: Arguing
7 PM
VisitationSiste: Friends sometimes begin to resemble one another in speech
Feb 5 2017, 7:57 PM
Guest1493 (guest): (Judy) Conflict can mean merely have a difference of opinion on a matter. No argument, or “battle” takes place.
Feb 5 2017, 7:57 PM
Ruth (guest): Just the opposite of arguing: completely on the same wave-length.
Feb 5 2017, 7:57 PM
Dawn (guest): very true. as having a friendship where each feels completely comfortable to be themself…even the parts that need growth…Mother is this close to the freedom you speak of?
Feb 5 2017, 7:57 PM
Carol Ann: Yes, Judy
59 PM
Ruth (guest): True Judy, IF both or all parties are mature enough to disagree amicably, and to work together at getting at the TRUTH or the best plan in a particular matter.
Feb 5 2017, 7:59 PM
VisitationSiste: That’s it Dawn
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Guest5912 (guest): Even at church soo many that you feel the friendship but you might not even know their names but we are all worshiping God together
Feb 5 2017, 8:01 PM
Ruth (guest): This, Brian, is especially true, I think, when you’ve been on retreat together, or studied together, or come to know one another well.
:01 PM
Lisa C: It is interesting that I can meet a Priest that I do not know and feel completely comfortable sharing anything with him. I think it is because we are truly united through Jesus.
Feb 5 2017, 8:01 PM
Guest1493 (guest): (Judy) That is a true and good friendship. We can keep friendships that are good, true, holy by always striving ourselves to be good, holy and true and seeking out others of the same mindset.
, 8:02 PM
VisitationSiste: Yes and the priest is ina mystical way even closer to Jesus than we can explain
Lisa C: It is not the same as spiritual friends that know each other, but it is amazing.
Feb 5 2017, 8:04 PM
Ruth (guest): Unfortunately, in some church groups — even some who worship together — there is so much of what “the world” values — like someone having to assert authority over another — not the authority of knowledge or specific capabilities, but just self-aggrandizement.
04 PM
Guest5912 (guest): I will never forget the Christians who came out of nowhere to comfort us in Guatemala when we were in great spiritual battle to complete Maria’s adoption
Feb 5 2017, 8:05 PM
Carol Ann: The world creeps into the Church because the Church is in the world
Feb 5 2017, 8:05 PM
Ruth (guest): Wonderful, Brian!
06 PM
Lisa C: Having to move around in the Army makes it necessary to be in different places all the time, but I can always count on the Mass and Priests to be familiar.
Feb 5 2017, 8:07 PM
Guest1493 (guest): (Judy) i am not sure that I would consider those with whom I worship on Sundays my friends. Friendship implies relationship and just sitting next to, in front of, or behind someone does mean that the person is a friend.
8:08 PM
Ruth (guest): And one time when I was “moved” to take a long trip — a sort of rescue mission — with virtually no time to prepare. I met a group of prayer-group friends by chance — or God instance — all from Ireland in a Munich train station. Like in a football huddle we prayed together, right there, and I went on my way fully assured that I was, indeed, being led by the Holy Spirit on that “mission.”
Feb 5 2017, 8:08 PM
VisitationSiste: I imagine there are levels of friends
Feb 5 2017, 8:08 PM
Guest5912 (guest): I cannot describe to you that Friendship when you are in fear for the life of your daughter and your own life and God sends someone to let you know that it will be ok
Dawn (guest): Brian, that would be a good testimony to hear more of!
Feb 5 2017, 8:09 PM
Ruth (guest): Oh, my goodness, that happened to you Brian?! How old was Maria when you adopted her?
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Guest5912 (guest): Dawn God is incredible!!! I think I might have told some of story
Feb 5 2017, 8:10 PM
Ruth (guest): Why did you fear for your daughter’s life?
Feb 5 2017, 8:11 PM
Dawn (guest): these things which happen, which are supernatural and mystical, are beautiful evidence of what goes on all around us, even if unaware
Feb 5 2017, 8:12 PM
Ruth (guest): It is, amazing, isn’t it, how, at least sometimes, God sends just the people you need just when you need them.
Feb 5 2017, 8:12 PM
Dawn (guest): how He loves us
Feb 5 2017, 8:12 PM
Guest5912 (guest): Maria’s adoption was held up for months and in prayer one morning I asked God what I could do for Him in this situation . He told me to be in Guatemala in one week !
Feb 5 2017, 8:13 PM
Ruth (guest): And that love, sometimes, helps us, in one way or another to laugh at ourselves, and our uncertainties, and trust HIM more.
3 PM
Ruth (guest): And that love, sometimes, helps us, in one way or another to laugh at ourselves, and our uncertainties, and trust HIM more.
Feb 5 2017, 8:13 PM
Guest5912 (guest): We obeyed God and an incredible string of events took place
Feb 5 2017, 8:14 PM
Carol Ann: Praise God for His mercy!
Feb 5 2017, 8:15 PM
Guest5912 (guest): I could write book on this trip alone
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Carol Ann: Praise God for His mercy!
Feb 5 2017, 8:15 PM
Guest5912 (guest): I could write book on this trip alone
Feb 5 2017, 8:15 PM
Ruth (guest): Yes, it is possibly time you wrote a memoir, Brian.
Feb 5 2017, 8:15 PM
Dawn (guest): Brian, may I encourage you..!
Feb 5 2017, 8:15 PM
VisitationSiste: Gresat testimony if you did Brian
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Carol Ann: Yes!
Feb 5 2017, 8:16 PM
Guest1493 (guest): (Judy) It would certainly be a true witness of the goodness of God.
Feb 5 2017, 8:16 PM
Dawn (guest): and of following trusting doing His will. even when none of it makes sense at first!
Feb 5 2017, 8:17 PM
Ruth (guest): That definitely happens, doesn’t it Dawn?
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Guest5912 (guest): God placed man next to us on 5 hour flight who ended up uncovering extortion ring and helped many families to bring their children home he used his own lawyers in Guatemala to uncover everything no cost to anyone
Feb 5 2017, 8:17 PM
Dawn (guest): also courage, having the grace of courage to go there
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Guest5912 (guest): What a Friend
Feb 5 2017, 8:18 PM
Dawn (guest): yes it does I think when we just step out Ruth, like Peter on the water
19 PM
Ruth (guest): And don’t look down, but keep on trusting Him.
Feb 5 2017, 8:19 PM
Guest5912 (guest): Many events took place God always had someone their for us
Feb 5 2017, 8:20 PM
Guest1493 (guest): (Judy) Just to touch quickly on the last question, relationships that are damaging to our spiritual lives can lead to a weakening of our commitment and perhaps even abandoning the quest for the “devout life.”
:21 PM
Guest5912 (guest): Let us comfort others with the same comfort God has brought us through others real friendship
Feb 5 2017, 8:21 PM
Ruth (guest): Wouldn’t it be great it there were some sort of a journal that published stories like these regularly — Good News of God’s Love and Mercy — sustaining us TODAY.
Feb 5 2017, 8:21 PM
VisitationSiste: Even a longtime friend may not agree with one’s life path and the friendship can end
Feb 5 2017, 8:21 PM
Guest1493 (guest): (Judy) Brian, truly God was holding you and your family in the palm of His hand during all of this. May His Holy Name be praised!!!
Feb 5 2017, 8:21 PM
VisitationSiste: Yes Ruth! We were talking about that in our Monastery
:21 PM
VisitationSiste: Yes Ruth! We were talking about that in our Monastery
Feb 5 2017, 8:22 PM
Lisa C: Maybe a Facebook page
Feb 5 2017, 8:22 PM
VisitationSiste: Even a webpage
Feb 5 2017, 8:22 PM
Guest5912 (guest): Praise God !!!
Feb 5 2017, 8:23 PM
Carol Ann: We could always collect them and self publish
Feb 5 2017, 8:23 PM
VisitationSiste: Yes Carol!
Feb 5 2017, 8:23 PM
Dawn (guest): Praise be to Jesus Christ
8:24 PM
VisitationSiste: Just one story from each of us could begin the work
Feb 5 2017, 8:24 PM
Lisa C: God with us
Feb 5 2017, 8:24 PM
Guest1493 (guest): (Judy) The Divine Mercy website frequently publishes stories of God’s mercy in the lives of people. They might have put them into a book. Might be worth a look-see.
Feb 5 2017, 8:24 PM
Carol Ann: Did you read my mind Sister?
Feb 5 2017, 8:24 PM
VisitationSiste: Maybe!!
7, 8:25 PM
Ruth (guest): I think it would be good to take even difficult, painful, or even traumatic experiences and put them, over time, into a sort of time line, to show how God works even through those experiences. PM
Guest1493 (guest): (Judy)If you go onto spiritdaily and scroll down through a number of links, you will find a link for Divine Mercy (official). Click on it and you will find some stories.
Feb 5 2017, 8:28 PM
Ruth (guest): I think the title may be, “We are pilgrims on a journey
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Guest1493 (guest): (Judy) There is a hymn which begins “We come to share our story, we come to break the bread, we come to know our rising from the dead.” We sang it at Mass this morning.
Feb 5 2017, 8:29 PM
Dawn (guest): I like the idea of sending you a story, it would be good to have a “spiritual edit”….the purpose being of writing these to benefit others…I think
:29 PM
Carol Ann: I do Ruth. There is an Hawaiian melody we often use out here on Holy Thursday “we come to share our stirues, we come to break the bread we come to know our rising from the dead”
: AllBy the Blood of the Lamb and the word of their testimony many will come to Christ !!! M
Ruth (guest): BTW My church gave a gift of FORMED to all parishoners. www.formed.org. Lighthouse Catholic Media mentions it on the CD Lectio Divina, too.
8:30 PM
Carol Ann: You get to sing it all year! The verses are meaningful as well
Feb 5 2017, 8:30 PM
Guest1493 (guest): (Judy) Wow, Carol Ann, I did not know that that was a Hawaiian melody. It might be titled “Song of the People of God.”