Chatting about: Gossip and Proper Speech

Guest9606 (Guest): Quest. ! I need to eliminate detraction from my life by guarding any thing I may say about a neighbor who is rather troublesome.

Apr 2 2017, 4:39 PM

Guest9606 (Guest): Quest 2. Somtimes it is easy to speak ill of someone if we only see a negative side of the person. Some people tend to behave more consistently in a negative manner. We can avoid the temptation to speak ill of such a one by praying for him/her, and not allowing him or her to become the subject of our conversation.

Apr 2 2017, 4:40 PM

Guest9606 (Guest): And we need to pray for ourselves using the words of psalm 141:3

Apr 2 2017, 4:41 PM

Guest9606 (Guest): “Set a guard, Lord, before my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips.”

Apr 2 2017, 4:42 PM

Guest9606 (Guest): Quest. 3 I have not looked at a tabloid or celebrity magazine for a long time. I felt that they were not trustworthy and that they tended to exploit their subjects. I came to see them as garbage.

Apr 2 2017, 4:42 PM

Guest9606 (Guest): So long for now, and I will “see” you next Sunday.

Apr 2 2017, 7:22 PM

Dawn (Guest): Hi Lisa!

Apr 2 2017, 7:22 PM

Lisa C: hi Dawn

Apr 2 2017, 7:23 PM

Dawn (Guest): Happy Sunday

Apr 2 2017, 7:23 PM

Lisa C: You too

Apr 2 2017, 7:25 PM

Lisa C: Hi Guest

Apr 2 2017, 7:29 PM

Guest6538 (Guest): Hi Dawn and Lisa ! God Bless You ! Brian

Apr 2 2017, 7:29 PM

Lisa C: Hi Brian

Apr 2 2017, 7:30 PM

Lisa C: Hi rUTH

Welcome to our Living Jesus Chat Room. Just sign in, using any of the methods below.

Apr 2 2017, 7:30 PM

SrSusan (Guest): Hi everyone


Apr 2 2017, 7:30 PM

Lisa C: Hi Mother

Apr 2 2017, 7:31 PM

rUTH (Guest): Hi Lisa, Hi Dawn, Brian and Srl Susan

7:33 PM

Dawn (Guest): I believe this is a very helpful chapter

Apr 2 2017, 7:33 PM

SrSusan (Guest): The questions were not too difficult

:34 PM

Lisa C: I think it begins in grammar school and then starts to die off to some extent as people mature, but now with Facebook it is happening a lotPM

Guest6538 (Guest): Gossip is promoted throughout our culture ,we must resist this temptation !!

Apr 2 2017, 7:35 PM

Lisa C: People love to post weird things about people

36 PM

Lisa C: No, it is not too hard. We just have to respect people017, 7:37 PM

Lisa C: If we see Jesus in them how can we do things like that?

Apr 2 2017, 7:37 PM

SrSusan (Guest): Brian how is gossip promoted in our culture- in magazines

7 PM

Lisa C: It is easy to do if we depersonalize people

Apr 2 2017, 7:38 PM

rUTH (Guest): I think this is an important chapter, especially for Lent. “Ditraction” is not often listed in a printed “Examination of conscience.”

Apr 2 2017, 7:38 PM

SrSusan (Guest): good point

:38 PM

Lisa C: The internet depersonalizes people a lot:38 PM

Dawn (Guest): this would be good to include in the exam every day9 PM

SrSusan (Guest): Detraction is actually false info, correct? like the “fake news”017, 7:39 PM

Lisa C: Mother I think the site said it is true information

Apr 2 2017, 7:39 PM

rUTH (Guest): Thanks for repeating it, Sister.

Apr 2 2017, 7:40 PM

Guest6538 (Guest): We have thousands off forms of media that are completely devoted to gossip . Even News reporting in many forms now is gossip . You can see the impact on people when you listen to them !


Lisa C: “There is a sin called detraction. This is the sin of speaking an unkind truth about someone; it is like gossip, but the story is true. ”

Apr 2 2017, 7:42 PM

rUTH (Guest): Sister, that refers more aptly to “gossip” But detraction is, in a way “false,” even though the content is true because it “reduces” the respect a hearer might have for the person; and all people are worthy of respect, though not all their actions are.


Guest6538 (Guest): Working in a large hospital for many years the level of gossip was unbelievable.

Apr 2 2017, 7:43 PM

Dawn (Guest): CC 2477


Dawn (Guest): 2477 Respect for the reputation of persons forbids every attitude and word likely to cause them unjust injury. He becomes guilty:- of rash judgment who, even tacitly, assumes as true, without sufficient foundation, the moral fault of a neighbor;- of detraction who, without objectively valid reason, discloses another’s faults and failings to persons who did not know them;- of calumny who, by remarks contrary to the truth, harms the reputation of others and gives occasion for false judgments concerning them.

Apr 2 2017, 7:45 PM

rUTH (Guest): I think before reading this article I would have called negative speech about another person uncharitable speech.

7, 7:46 PM

Guest6538 (Guest): When someone starts I always try to shift conversation or I walk away !

Apr 2 2017, 7:46 PM

rUTH (Guest): That’s assuming it is true, and not directed plainly toward the person to help her improve.

47 PM

SrSusan (Guest): It is hard when someone comes in to lodge a legitimate complaint and it moves towards gossipPM

Dawn (Guest): I do not believe so. although I was wondering when sharing about a family member for all the best intentions…did I injure them?

Apr 2 2017, 7:50 PM

rUTH (Guest): I am glad that SFdS and CC2477 clarify “without objectively valid reason, discloses another’s faults” There are times when, to protect others, on MUST disclose, even uncertain suspicions of moral fault — such as mandated child abuse reporters.

1 PM

Dawn (Guest): St Francis says Even if we intended no harm, the EVil one did and he is sure to usee our lawless words as a weapon against the heart of someone! 2 PM

Guest6538 (Guest): We can have a big impact for Jesus Christ in this area . He gives us the ability with the Holy Spirit to destroy these attacks on the unity of the Body of Christ ! Gossip always is directed at division . A clear weapon used by our enemy to destroy communities .

Apr 2 2017, 7:52 PM

Dawn (Guest): yes Ruth, good clarification. there are some times for valid reasons

, 7:54 PM

SrSusan (Guest): Unity can be broken by petty squabbles which often lead to gossip


Apr 2 2017, 7:54 PM

rUTH (Guest): I think we also have the right in need — e.g. when seriously harmed — to disclose to a limited “audience” (e.g. close friend, therapist, spiritual director) the evil another has done to us — in order to seek and hopefully receive help.\

:55 PM

SrSusan (Guest): The news media a nd reporters write about all kinds of incidents Are these all detraction?


Lisa C: I think the News has changed. Apparently in FDRs time a lot of people did not know that he had braces on his legs, because the media protected his image. Now the media loves to detract anyone in the public eye.

Apr 2 2017, 7:57 PM

rUTH (Guest): good question, sister. I think sometimes they are, and sometimes they are not.

Apr 2 2017, 7:58 PM

Lisa C: The news is also biased now, and should not be.

7, 7:58 PM

rUTH (Guest): “news” now is often editorial or even gossip.

Apr 2 2017, 7:59 PM

SrSusan (Guest): is that what we learned was called yellow journalism

59 PM

SrSusan (Guest): is that what we learned was called yellow journalism


Apr 2 2017, 8:00 PM

Guest6538 (Guest): Healthy sharing is soo important it helps us to realize that we are not alone in our struggles and we are able to share helpful information to help one another . Gossip is just destructive and prevents people from getting help and prayer they need

Apr 2 2017, 8:00 PM

Dawn (Guest): what is yellow journalism?

Apr 2 2017, 8:01 PM

rUTH (Guest): But the news has an important place — when done honestly — in “investigative reporting” to disclose concerns that belong in the public realm — so that the public (voters!/citizens) can take reasonable action to correct bad situations, that they might otherwise not have known about.

Apr 2 2017, 8:01 PM

Dawn (Guest): distinction between healthy sharing and mean sharing

Apr 2 2017, 8:01 PM

SrSusan (Guest): It was exaggeration I think of the news or outright lies


Apr 2 2017, 8:02 PM

Dawn (Guest): ok thanks


Guest6538 (Guest): Good journalism is a powerful tool God can use to help people to get the help they need !

Apr 2 2017, 8:02 PM

Lisa C: The problem is that it is not done honestly now. It is liberally slanted. Professors are also being fired for having conservative opinions.

Apr 2 2017, 8:03 PM

rUTH (Guest): OR vice versa.

Apr 2 2017, 8:03 PM

rUTH (Guest): Sister, when you worked in television, what was your job — I mean, before becoming a nun. :04 PM

SrSusan (Guest): My final job at NBC for 7 years was tv research


Apr 2 2017, 8:05 PM

SrSusan (Guest): I analyzed program performance across the nation in individual tv markets



Guest6538 (Guest): It is interesting though that in a culture that promoted soo much lying that there is such a deep thirst for truth . That is why people are drawn to real Christians who really Love God !

Apr 2 2017, 8:06 PM

rUTH (Guest): I always wondered how TV channels knew how many people were watching a particular program at a particular time.

Apr 2 2017, 8:06 PM

SrSusan (Guest): Meters and diaries recorded viewing7 PM

Lisa C: How did the meters and diaries work

Apr 2 2017, 8:07 PM

rUTH (Guest): ? I’ve heard of people allowing meters in their homes — but that was only with consent, and a small percentage of the population.

Apr 2 2017, 8:08 PM

rUTH (Guest): And how does one get access to diaries?

7 PM

Lisa C: How did the meters and diaries work

Apr 2 2017, 8:07 PM

rUTH (Guest): ? I’ve heard of people allowing meters in their homes — but that was only with consent, and a small percentage of the population.

Apr 2 2017, 8:08 PM

rUTH (Guest): And how does one get access to diaries?

Apr 2 2017, 8:09 PM

Guest6538 (Guest): Smart phones have made research a lot easier I would think

Apr 2 2017, 8:09 PM

SrSusan (Guest): Homes were randomly selected for the diaries- you had to keep a 2 week diary on viewing. The meteres were electronic


Apr 2 2017, 8:09 PM

SrSusan (Guest): I am sure the techniques is different now- 29 yeqars later

:10 PM

Lisa C: ISPs are selling all our info now, and monitoring us constantly. M

rUTH (Guest): I understand that computer programs/sites can “track” ones usage — put cookies on your computer. 8:11 PM

rUTH (Guest): Google once even sent me an e-mail suggesting I check out a “Vocations” site!

Apr 2 2017, 8:12 PM

Dawn (Guest): our location on mobile phones is never off. good for emergency reasons, not good in others, esp those who mean harm. I think esp children

13 PM

Lisa C: What sites we visit on line are tracked and a profile is created and it is sold to businesses.

Apr 2 2017, 8:13 PM

Lisa C: Then adds pop up to market to us

Apr 2 2017, 8:13 PM

rUTH (Guest): Spooky if they figure they are doing the work of the “Holy Ghost.”

Apr 2 2017, 8:14 PM

Guest6538 (Guest): It’s a Brave New World . They are able to micromanage everything . We do have great potential to build communities for Christ !

16 PM

Dawn (Guest): Brian do you use or read online Catholic things or groups, religious orders, there is so much good and helpful to grow our faith and connect with others

Apr 2 2017, 8:17 PM

rUTH (Guest): Yes, I’ve noticed, Lisa, and not only what sites we visit, but also, sometimes — with some e-mail — the CONTENT of an e-mail letter.

Apr 2 2017, 8:17 PM

Dawn (Guest): they are reading our emails??

7 PM

Lisa C:

How Governments Spy on You, and What You can Do About It

7, 8:18 PM

rUTH (Guest): Yes, even our church bulletin sometimes suggests going to certain sites.

Apr 2 2017, 8:20 PM

Lisa C: Nothing to worry about unless you are breaking laws.

22 PM

Lisa C: Our chats are scanned

Apr 2 2017, 8:22 PM

Lisa C: They search for key words


SrSusan (Guest): Hope someone is converted


Apr 2 2017, 8:24 PM

Dawn (Guest): so all chat emails txt forumsnetc must be scanned for key

Apr 2 2017, 8:24 PM

rUTH (Guest): Dawn, supposedly those e-mail sites we used were “Secure”/ Locked and they claim that no human reads the e-mails people send BUT a computer scans them and finding certain words directs ads related to those key words to us — “targeted advertisments.”

Apr 2 2017, 8:24 PM

Guest6538 (Guest): I do watch Music videos of Christian music and Catholic Hymns ! I watch video of different bible teachers ! I love the video Sister Susan was in with Visitation Sisters in Brooklyn ! Soo many great resources to help us stay connected to God ! Video rosary has been very helpful . Daily mass is the best though !

Apr 2 2017, 8:24 PM

Dawn (Guest): thats right Mother!

6 PM

SrSusan (Guest): Lots of ways of proclaiming truth


Apr 2 2017, 8:26 PM

Dawn (Guest): listening to a icu nurse talk…one night they were sitting at desk and kind of noticed what they were talking about appeared in ads. like vacation sites or books or whatever. their normal conversation, cell phs sitting there, and detected what people are speaking about


rUTH (Guest): There was a time when I would have been MUCH more “private” — but the risks professionally are less as I approach retirement, I feel safe with the people who visit this site AND, like you, Sister, I hope that some good — CONVERSION — comes of being more open. Of course, there is also a chance of martyrdom. . . so much is changing so fast!

Apr 2 2017, 8:28 PM

Dawn (Guest): the online rosary is wonderful!

Apr 2 2017, 8:29 PM

Guest6538 (Guest): Catholic Men’s Conference yesterday was awesome in Buffalo area Kairos meeting last Saturday great and Sunday night Grouping awesome please pray for more Kairos volunteers

Apr 2 2017, 8:29 PM

Dawn (Guest): Prayers Brian!


Lisa C: Our media should be like our thoughts, like the chat last week. We speak about God and post about God

Apr 2 2017, 8:30 PM

rUTH (Guest): Dawn, evidence that it is a computer scanner and not humans “reading” the e-mails. I’ve said some things figuratively — something about a garden growing or something blooming, which I am sure a human reader would have understood as figurative. After that I got a slew of ads from garden supply houses.

Apr 2 2017, 8:31 PM

Lisa C: God bless

Apr 2 2017, 8:31 PM

Lisa C: God be praised

One Response to “Chatting about: Gossip and Proper Speech”

  1. Ruth Cassin says:

    The Hebrew term lashon hara (or loshon horo) (Hebrew לשון הרע; “evil tongue”) is the halakhic term for derogatory speech about another person, what we are calling here the sin of detraction or gossip . Lashon hara differs from defamation in that its focus is on the use of true speech for a wrongful purpose, rather than falsehood and harm arising. I recently looked up this term because a Jewish site gave the instruction for those wishing to leave comments: “Welcome to Mystical Paths comments. Have your say here, but please keep the tone reasonably civil and avoid lashon hara.” I wanted to tell the editors or readers how I, a believing, practicing Catholic, happen to be reading this site about Jewish Mysticism [] including the comments, and show that there is considerable overlap with kabbalistic teachings and what St. Francis de Sales says on some the same or related topics.

    GoodFriday, 2017

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