Chatting about Marriage

Have you ever thought of the fact that marriage is a vocation that should be discerned, just like the priesthood andr religious life is discerned?
How do you think the Church can better highlight the sanctity and importance of marriage?
How can married couples and families be supported in their vocation and helped to see that their life is a call to holiness just like priests and religious?

May 31, 8:28 PM

SrSusan (Guest): Sun Jun 4 730pm est

Jun 4, 2:24 PM

VisitationSiste: I will be late tonite, unexpected guest

Jun 4, 6:57 PM

VisitationSiste: If I don’t make it tonite here are some thoughts: yes, marriage should be discerned. Falling in love does not equal a call to marriage, necessarily.

Jun 4, 6:57 PM

VisitationSiste: Study marriages of saints and highlight those to emphasize the sanctity of the sacrament

Jun 4, 6:59 PM

VisitationSiste: I think the Church is trying to support families but I think we need to find a new word for “laity” perhaps using the word “the faithful” or disciples is better. Marriage is a holy sacrament- it is matrimony, actually

Jun 4, 6:59 PM

VisitationSiste: Sorry about not being here-

Jun 4, 7:24 PM

Guest1611 (Guest): Happy Birthday, Everybody!! It’s Judy.

Jun 4, 7:28 PM

Guest1611 (Guest): (Judy) Hi Carol Ann!

Jun 4, 7:28 PM

Carol Ann: Hi Judy! How are you?

Jun 4, 7:28 PM

Guest1611 (Guest): (Judy) I am pretty well, thank God.

Jun 4, 7:29 PM

Carol Ann: Sounds like you have had a rough week

Jun 4, 7:29 PM

Guest1611 (Guest): (Judy) I am looking forward to having lunch with some of my college classmates on Wednesday.

Jun 4, 7:30 PM

Carol Ann: What fun! From where did you graduate?

Jun 4, 7:31 PM

Guest1611 (Guest): (Judy) It wasn’t a rough week but it was busy. I got a message from a friend that she had seen a report that some remains of Korean War POW/MIAs had been returned. I am trying to find if my dad’s could be among them. I graduated from Marymount Manhattan College.

Jun 4, 7:32 PM

Guest1611 (Guest): (Judy) Hello Viewer and welcome!

Jun 4, 7:33 PM

Carol Ann: Oh my, Judy, that is incredible. I hope it’s true-–it would be a relief to have him home. My Dad srved during Korea too. He was Signal Corps with the engineers in Chignon France

Jun 4, 7:34 PM

Guest1611 (Guest): (Judy) Dad was killed in a North Korean prison camp.

Jun 4, 7:34 PM

Carol Ann: Horrible , horrible place

Jun 4, 7:35 PM

Guest1611 (Guest): (Judy) Well, let’s start the topic. Re: question 1, yes, the call to marriage must be discerned and the partner must also be discerned. The Lord must be in on the venture from the beginning.

Jun 4, 7:36 PM

Guest1611 (Guest): (Judy) Hi 267! Is it Ruth or Brian?

Jun 4, 7:36 PM

Guest267 (Guest): Hi Carol Ann , Judy , and Ruth ! God Bless You ! Brian

Jun 4, 7:36 PM

Guest1611 (Guest): (Judy) Hi Brian. How are you?

Jun 4, 7:37 PM

Carol Ann: I agree. Love is the basis, but you must build a lasting relationship on it, so the choice of partner and whether to marry must be discerned

Jun 4, 7:37 PM

Carol Ann: Hi Brian!

Jun 4, 7:37 PM

Guest267 (Guest): Long week Judy ! God is Good !

Jun 4, 7:37 PM

Ruth (Guest): Hi Carol Ann, Judy, Brian. I think Brian is the only one of us who is –– presently –– married. Is that correct?

Jun 4, 7:38 PM

Carol Ann: Hi Ruth!

Jun 4, 7:39 PM

Ruth (Guest): But Dawn is a grandmother and have I heard/read you mention children or grandchildren, Carol Ann, or Judy?

Jun 4, 7:39 PM

Carol Ann: Not me, always happily single

Jun 4, 7:40 PM

Ruth (Guest): It seems to me not even a question that marriage is a Sacrament that should be discerned –– which partner, too.

Jun 4, 7:41 PM

Ruth (Guest): My parents, especially my father, just assumed that I was “called” to marriage. They considered me “fanatical”

Jun 4, 7:42 PM

Carol Ann: Sometimes I think that the sacramentality of marriage is lost in the ease of modern divorce. It would not seem as important to discern when “mistakes” are easily undone

Jun 4, 7:43 PM

Ruth (Guest): about my religion because from the age of 13 I was attending daily Mass, which was not exactly easy, since the church was in one direction, the school (public school) in the opposite direction, and I had to be at school early because the orchestra practiced before school every day.

Jun 4, 7:43 PM

Guest1611 (Guest): (Judy) The second question-–how can the Church highlight the sanctity and importance of marriage? I believe that the Church can highlight the importance and sanctity of marriage by providing a more intensive marriage prep program. I could see an 8-10 week program including 1. the commitment to be Catholicliving a Catholic life. 2. marriage as a sacrament (it takes 3 to make a marriage-–a man, a woman, and the Lord. 3. communication in marriage. 4 handling finances.

Jun 4, 7:44 PM

Guest267 (Guest): Yes ! I remember the first time Janet and I met . A friend of mine was dating a friend of hers and they both thought me might like each other . We met at a friend’s party after hockey game I was playing . Some how I got into party first and I saw her across a crowded room and I knew that she was the girl for me ! Just like the South Pacific song ! Ha Ha! That was January 1980!

Jun 4, 7:44 PM

Guest1611 (Guest): (Judy) 5. preparing for and rearing children. 6. resolving conflict. 7. building positive relationships with in-laws. 8. coping with serious illness. 9 the family as a domestic Church.

Jun 4, 7:44 PM

Carol Ann: Also handling disagreements, how to discipline children, everything really

Jun 4, 7:45 PM

Dawn (Guest): hi everyone !

Jun 4, 7:45 PM

Carol Ann: Hi Dawn!

Jun 4, 7:46 PM

Guest1611 (Guest): (Judy) Hi Dawn!

Jun 4, 7:46 PM

Guest267 (Guest): Hi Dawn !God Bless You ! Brian

Jun 4, 7:47 PM

Dawn (Guest): Hi Carol Ann, Judy, Ruth! , Brian. God bless you! Happy Pentecost!

Jun 4, 7:48 PM

Ruth (Guest): Wow! Judy, do you think that would do it? All important topics but I think it takes much, much more than a 10 week course to build a CULTURE that truly values marriage and family. I think that in the US the culture is changing away from marriage.

Jun 4, 7:48 PM

Guest267 (Guest): Happy Pentecost !!!

Jun 4, 7:48 PM

Ruth (Guest): Brian, you were/are blessed . . .

Jun 4, 7:48 PM

Guest1611 (Guest): (Judy) I may have mentioned having an adopted grandson, a Vietnamese Salesian Brother who will be ordained to the priesthood on June 24th. We kind of adopted each other. It is a special relationship.

Jun 4, 7:49 PM

Carol Ann: You are right,Ruth, I don’t know many who would call their home domestic church

Jun 4, 7:49 PM

Guest1611 (Guest): (Judy) It is a new terminology for the family and needs to be gone into in some depth.

Jun 4, 7:49 PM

Ruth (Guest): Yes, Happy Birthday to the Church we are a part of!

Jun 4, 7:50 PM

Carol Ann: Amen!

Jun 4, 7:50 PM

Guest267 (Guest): Amen Ruth !!! Janet helped me to come back to Jesus !!! She is an awesome Women of God !!!

Jun 4, 7:51 PM

Dawn (Guest): Alleluia!

Jun 4, 7:51 PM

Ruth (Guest): My father (not a Catholic until his death bed, by God’s mercy) “got it” that marriage, for me, would have to be a way to sanctity.

Jun 4, 7:51 PM

Guest1611 (Guest): (Judy) Thank God you came back Brian. You are a wonderful witness to the Gospel.

Jun 4, 7:52 PM

Ruth (Guest): He gave me a booklet entitled “Married Saints.“ But he had not read it before he gave it to me.

Jun 4, 7:52 PM

Ruth (Guest): All of them were widows and founders of religious communities!

Jun 4, 7:53 PM

Ruth (Guest): Praise the Lord for holy marriages! That’s where saints are made –– the partners and the children.

Jun 4, 7:53 PM

Guest1611 (Guest): (Judy) that must have raised some question marks in your mind.

Jun 4, 7:53 PM

Carol Ann: Like the Martin family

Jun 4, 7:53 PM

Guest267 (Guest): Judy you and all our chat room buddies have been an inspiration to me and Janet !!!

Jun 4, 7:54 PM

Guest1611 (Guest): (Judy) Zelie and Louis Martin are a prime example.

Jun 4, 7:55 PM

Ruth (Guest): No, Judy; at that time I was already thinking about the religious life, thinking that just maybe God was calling me to become a religious sister.

Jun 4, 7:55 PM

Guest267 (Guest): It is incredible how God has provided for through all the ups and downs in our life together !!!

Jun 4, 7:58 PM

Guest1611 (Guest): (Judy) The Lord said, “I will never leave you or forget you.“ Note that it reads the same way backward-–“You leave or you forget never will I.“

Jun 4, 7:58 PM

Ruth (Guest): Yes, Brian, that is the special grace of the Sacrament of Marriage. If even one partner truly loves the Lord –– though ideally BOTH do –– their love for one another can grow and become a blessing to many.

Jun 4, 7:59 PM

Guest267 (Guest): Amen Ruth !!!

Jun 4, 8:01 PM

Guest267 (Guest): That is soo cool Judy ! I never noticed that ! That is the words of Jesus that I always stand on through the toughest times !!!

Jun 4, 8:02 PM

Guest1611 (Guest): (Judy) Question 3 on supporting married couples. Parishes need to sponsor growth groups for newly marrieds, for longer term marrieds, and for families, giving them opportunities to share with others the spiritual life within marriage, and trials and joys, successes and failures in marriage and the family situation. Couples can provide support for each other and encourage each other in their marriages.

Jun 4, 8:03 PM

Ruth (Guest): Today I watched some programs on EWTN on my computer. I was pleased to note that a number of them pointed to marriage as a way to sanctity. Moms doing the day-in-day out (quotidian) tasks –– laundry, cooking, trying to keep up with toddlers, etc. as what they are CALLED by GOD to do to glorify Him.

Jun 4, 8:03 PM

Carol Ann: How to do that though? Through small groups or mentoring ?

Jun 4, 8:04 PM

Guest1611 (Guest): (Judy) Small groups, I think.

Jun 4, 8:06 PM

Ruth (Guest): The complementarity of the roles of father and mother –– ideally –– in not only conceiving but in raising children.

Jun 4, 8:07 PM

Guest267 (Guest): It can help just spending time with other couples going through life together . We were blessed to have a whole group of couples that we would get together regularly with after we had adopted our Children !!! Great Support !!!

Jun 4, 8:07 PM

Ruth (Guest): Yes, I have seen some parishes doing this well, with small “house churches.“ Maybe they learned it from our Protestant brothers and sisters.

Jun 4, 8:08 PM

Carol Ann: They do seem to do mutual support better than we often do

Jun 4, 8:09 PM

Ruth (Guest): Some covenant communities –– like The Word of God –– in Ann Arbor, Michigan have it built into their structure.

Jun 4, 8:09 PM

Guest1611 (Guest): (JUdy) I often feel that we can learn much from our Protestant brothers and sisters. They seem to have closer mutual relationships that we do.

Jun 4, 8:09 PM

Carol Ann: Come to think of it, so does Brothers and Sisters of Charity

Jun 4, 8:10 PM

Guest267 (Guest): Even very helpful for husbands to attend Men’s prayer and share groups and wives to attend Ladies prayer and share groups !

Jun 4, 8:10 PM

Ruth (Guest): Yes, indeed, Brian.

Jun 4, 8:11 PM

Ruth (Guest): Their concerns are different.

Jun 4, 8:11 PM

Guest1611 (Guest): (Judy) Yes, single gender groups may help some people express their difficulties more openly. They might tend to hold back in a mixed group.

Jun 4, 8:12 PM

Ruth (Guest): My parish here, St. Bernard’s, has a men’s group that meets once per month. The former Pastor, God bless him, started it.

Jun 4, 8:12 PM

Guest267 (Guest): It prevents isolation from happening within a marriage ! This can be soo destructive !

Jun 4, 8:14 PM

Guest1611 (Guest): (Judy) Partners in marriage need to have friends and activities apart from each other. This enables them to bring something new to the relationship.

Jun 4, 8:14 PM

Guest267 (Guest): That is true Judy !

Jun 4, 8:16 PM

Ruth (Guest): In Lake Placid, we had (have?) a woman’s group, originally started as a “Women of Grace” group –– special books and structure planned by Johnnette Benkovic.

Jun 4, 8:16 PM

Carol Ann: Sometimes people feel they must do everything together though-–grow together or grow apart

Jun 4, 8:19 PM

Guest1611 (Guest): (Judy) For the last question, encouraging people to marry than to live together. We need to learn what their concept of marriage is, what do they see as negative in it that discourages them form entering into it. Then marriage needs to be presented a truly positive thing. Marriage needs to be seen as a sacrament rather than as a merely social construct. It also needs to be seen as a lifelong commitment rather than as something which can be abandoned if it “doesn’t work out.“

Jun 4, 8:20 PM

Guest267 (Guest): I found even when we get together with other couples usually at some point we will. Naturally break up into the guys talking together and the girls talking together great support !

Jun 4, 8:21 PM

Guest1611 (Guest): (Judy) It is a commitment of love and a gift that a man and woman make to each other. In spite of any trials and difficulties that arise, the sacrament gives special graces to cope with these things. The beauty and love of marriage along with a willingness of partners to encourage each other along the way, can help to foster the marital relationship.

Jun 4, 8:22 PM

Ruth (Guest): Marriage is a COVENANT relationship == more than a contract or a commitment. And I fear that a lot of young people these days have no idea what that means.

Jun 4, 8:23 PM

Guest267 (Guest): Soo true Judy ! It really seems to be a fear of commitment and a desire to be together but to have separate lives !

Jun 4, 8:23 PM

Carol Ann: I think that’s true Ruth. Unfortunately

Jun 4, 8:24 PM

Guest1611 (Guest): (Judy) Couples need to be encouraged to have a common prayer life and a family prayer life. Christ needs to be the center of every marriage. And prayer can be the cement that holds a marriage and family together.

Jun 4, 8:25 PM

Dawn (Guest): Never the two before the One

Jun 4, 8:25 PM

Guest267 (Guest): That is absolutely true Ruth !!!

Jun 4, 8:25 PM

Carol Ann: So hard with all the activities and committees we are expected to maintain

Jun 4, 8:25 PM

Guest1611 (Guest): (Judy) Remember the words of Fr. Patrick Peyton of the Family Rosary Crusade-–“The family that prays together, stays together.“

Jun 4, 8:27 PM

Guest1611 (Guest): (Judy) I like to picture marriage not as a man and woman standing face to fact and looking at each other, but as a man and woman facing outward with their eyes fixed on Jesus.

Jun 4, 8:27 PM

Ruth (Guest): The “teaching” needs to begin very, very early –– even before a boy and a girl become interested in the opposite sex. The example of their parents –– or lacking that, of good neighbors, friends’ parents –– can be the best teachers.

Jun 4, 8:27 PM

Guest1611 (Guest): (Judy) Oops, that should be face to face, not fact.

Jun 4, 8:29 PM

Guest1611 (Guest): (Judy) The words of Adam in Genesis can be helpful-–“This at last is bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh.“

Jun 4, 8:31 PM

Guest1611 (Guest): (Judy) Marriage is a union of two persons, not two persons going along their own ways.

Jun 4, 8:31 PM

Carol Ann: https://aleteia.org/2017/05/31/7-sanctuaries-linked-by-a-straight-line-the-legendary-sword-of-st-michael/ just saw this and it is fascinating

Sword of St. Michael–Aleteia

Jun 4, 8:32 PM

Carol Ann: And totally off topic

Jun 4, 8:32 PM

Ruth (Guest): Ad –or – ration, is mouth-to-mouth. The cover of the May Magnificat has a painting of the Infant Jesus and Mary, their faces pressed against one another. I think BOTH have a place in a marriage relationship face-to-face –– and seeing

Jun 4, 8:32 PM

Guest267 (Guest): Please pray for Kairos weekend retreat this Thursday – Sunday . 24 new Men participating ! Many may be struggling with their marriages while being in prison ! Great reports from Albion Ladies Kairos, 30 participants . Keep all the girls and guys in your prayers ! God Love You All ! Brian

Jun 4, 8:33 PM

Dawn (Guest): Carol Ann....interesting !

Jun 4, 8:33 PM

Ruth (Guest): Christ in one another. And shoulder to shoulder, facing HIM, bearing burdens together, rejoicing together in all that he shows and shares with them.

Jun 4, 8:33 PM

Carol Ann: It seems like it was not done on purpose either

Jun 4, 8:33 PM

Dawn (Guest): Yes, Brian...thank you

Jun 4, 8:34 PM

Carol Ann: I will pray too Brian

Jun 4, 8:34 PM

Guest1611 (Guest): (Judy) God’s blessings on all of you. May He fill you with His Holy Spirit and His many gifts and fruits. Have a peaceful week.

Jun 4, 8:34 PM

Carol Ann: Have a blessed week!

Jun 4, 8:35 PM

Dawn (Guest): A blessed Spirit filled week for all! thank you, God bless!

Jun 4, 8:37 PM

Ruth (Guest): You have my prayer support Brian, for those retreats. I’d like to have a closer look at Kairos one of these days. Amazing work that you, with others, by the grace of God are doing through these retreats.

Jun 4, 8:38 PM

Ruth (Guest): Enjoy the “newness” of Life in the Power of the Holy Spirit!

Jun 4, 8:39 PM

Ruth (Guest): Good night! God bless your week!

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