The realities of our daily lives often bring us into contact with people who for some reason we just don’t take to. But if we are people of good will we find this disturbing, as we certainly want to grow in charity toward others.
How can we deal with these contrasting inner perspectives?
Following St. Francis de Sales’ advice and understanding is one way!
He said, “What is antipathy? Antipathies are certain inclinations which are sometimes natural and which excite in us a certain repugnance towards those for whom we entertain these feelings, which prevents us from liking their conversation.
Now we must not dwell too much upon these instinctive antipathies, provided all are kept in reasonable subjection. If I feel a repugnance to conversing with a person whom yet I know to be most excellent, and from whom I might learn much that would do me good, I must not give way to the antipathy which prompts me to avoid his society. On the contrary, I must force myself to listen to the voice of reason telling me rather to seek his company, or to remain in it with a quiet, peaceful mind.
What remedy is there for these antipathies, since no one, however perfect, can be exempt from them? The only remedy for this evil, as indeed for all other kinds of temptations, is simply to turn away from it, and think no more about it.
But the misfortune is that we are always too anxious to find out whether or not we really have any reason for our antipathy to some person. Oh, we must never amuse ourselves with trying to discover this; for our self-love, which never slumbers, will gild the pill for us so well, as to make us believe it good. If you have simply a natural instinctive dislike to anyone, I beseech you to pay no attention to it, to turn your thoughts away from it and so trick your own mind.”
Source: Spiritual Conferences of St. Francis de Sales, Conference XVI