VisitationSr : Where are you in your vocational discernment?
How can you find a spiritual director?
How do you share your hopes of entering religious life with your parents and family?
What ways can you explore different communities?
What about limitations and disabilities?
These and many more questions and answers will engage us in the Living Jesus Chat room, Divine Mercy Sunday, April 7, 2013 at 730PM est.
Join the Visitation Sisters who will be there to chat with you!Tonight we’re here to answer your questions and discuss discernment and vocations
Apr 7 2013, 7:16 PM
Sister Susan Marie: Hi Guest 868. Are you interested in discerning a vocation
Apr 7 2013, 7:18 PM
Sister : I’d be happy to answer questions
Guest868 (guest): Yes
Sister : There are many communities- how do you find the one you are being called to is a frequent discernment issue
Guest868 (guest): What limitations and disabilities rule out a vocation?
Sister : It depends on the community. For some, absolute health is a must. For others such as some contemplative orders, limitations are accepted
Usually pyschological issues rule out a candidate.
There are some communities geared to people with physical limitations, such as a group of Benedictines in Ct and even the Visitation
There is an order that accepts individuals with limited vision
But the emotional issues that make community living difficult is the one that most communities will not accept, unless correctable.
Guest868 (guest): How do you find these communities? I work full-time and don’t know where to start.
Sister One place is through contact with your Diocesan vocation office
Certainly the Internet has alot of communities with a presence today
A spiritual director can also help. If you can find that director. A pastor might have suggestions about that
We are here every week and would also be happy to walk the journey with you in our limited way and provide some ideas as we go along
Guest868 (guest): Thank you! I will try the diocesan vocation office tomorrow.
Sister You are welcome!
We can also do some research for you if you wanted to share any specifics.
Guest868 (guest): I am an older woman with diabetes.
Is there anything I should be doing while I am discerning if this is a possibility?
Sister: First , prayer
Finding a spiritual director, priest or religious is a tremendous help
Going on a weekend retreat or day of recollection would also be a good spiritual support for you
Are you involved in your Church at all? That would also help
C: I was as baffled as you are. then someone finally told me about vocationplacement.org
I signed up and took the test, and then communities began to contact ne
Sister: Great suggestion!
Guest868 (guest): Yes, I teach at an alternative public high school for discipline problems and trouble with law enforcement.
Sister : Don’t they send you lots of communities based on what you are looking for?
C: yes, but it is also based on your test results
Sister What kind of test does vocationplacement.org have
Does it cost anything?
C: It’s a multiple choice, like you sometimes see in the women’s magazines. Answers are ABCD and each letter is worth the point value of one to four
Sister : So it sounds like you are “matched” with communities
C: you add up your score at the end for your “range”. It’s free, you just have to leave your name and contact info so they can send you your results and give your contact info to possible matches
Sister : Guest 868 does this seem like a possibility for you to try?
Guest868 (guest): Yes
C: It’s actually quite interesting. Those “range” tests aren’t always accurate, but this one seems really close
Sister : It worked right?
C: Oh yes, indeed it did!
Apr 7 2013, 7:42 PM
Guest726 (guest): I am frequently told that I should try to narrow my spirituality down to one school. But I find something wonderful in each spirituality I see. I cannot see myself as purely, for example, Carmelite as others seem to – is this a problem?
C: Such a fabulous adventure, and now I’m packing up to go for my three month trial visit
Oh, 726, I know exactly what you mean-I love them all too
Sister: I think you are being advised to explore your dominant spirituality- we all have a bit of what you have!
C: But visits to communities will help you sort that out as well as a spiritual director who specializes in vocation
Guest726 (guest): That’s just it though. I don’t think there is a dominance.
Sister In fact I was not even looking for any spirituality- just a Monastery. I grew into it after I entered
C: I didn’t think I had one either, but I do, and even a hidden “subsidiary” if you want to call it that5 PM
Sister : “A place” can call to you, in a sense, as well. That;s the Lord’s way sometimes
C: So I narrowed it down by visiting several different places and then praying about it and working through each experience after I left
Apr 7 2013, 7:46 PM
Sister : So if you feel comfortable somewhere, a convent for ex, that you are visiting, or any religious establishment, that may
Great advice
Guest726 (guest): I have visited a couple of communities but not yet felt one was the right fit.
C: Sometimes you have to visit more than one community that lives by a certain spirituality.
Guest726 (guest): It is particularly worrisome when one is of a certain age – and time is passing.
C: I have great admiration for St Benedict and his rule, but I had to visit two Benedictine monasteries to learn that they just plain wear me out
C: I hear you on that too, but I can tell you that it is possible
7:49 PM
Guest726 (guest): I like contemplative prayer – but I think Carmel would be too austere for me. Particularly the communities here in the UK.
C: Maybe not, because they vary from community to community here in the US. They might where you are too
Apr 7 2013, 7:50 PM
Sister : Are you near Waldron? There is a Visitation Monastery there that you might visit on a retreat
Apr 7 2013, 7:50 PM
Guest726 (guest): I have considered Waldron – but will wait until their building work is complete – they are moving.
Apr 7 2013, 7:51 PM
Sister : The important suggestion from before- having a good guide to help you
Very difficult these days, unfortunately
Apr 7 2013, 7:55 PM
Guest726 (guest): I would consider outside my country. However, the problem is compounded by the fact that I am currently the sole carer for my Mother. So, I am not free to enter even if I found my dream community.
Guest726 (guest): It would, however, be beneficial to gain some insights into communities I am interested in – during the interim.
Apr 7 2013, 7:56 PM
Sister : That is so- your primary responsibility is for your mother. But if you could be an asssociate with a community in the meantime- a lay associate- it would give you spiritual energy
Guest726 (guest): How do communities feel about candidates using the lay associates as a – forgive me – kind of stop-gap? Someone, told me once it was a no-no with third orders.
Apr 7 2013, 7:59 PM
Sister : It depends on the reason the associate program was formed. A true third order is a commitment in itself- a big one. But some associate programs are formed because candidates were not yet ready to enter.
Guest726 (guest): Thank you. That is interesting to know.
:
Sister : C in your visits to communities and meeting others have you seen similar situations as expressed here?
We had a woman waiting for 5 years for her daughter to graduate. She entered after that.
, 8:01 PM
C: In two communities I was the only inquirer present, so it didn’t really come up. But in the two where I was not alone, there were all sorts of interesting dilemmas
Guest726 (guest): Good to know I am not alone.
Apr 7 2013, 8:02 PM
Sister : Definitely not! You’re in good company
Apr 7 2013, 8:02 PM
C: Some people had adult children, some were caregivers,
some were exploring multiple traditions, including Zen.
03 PM
Guest726 (guest): That’s interesting because I sometimes thought that if it was really what God wanted he would make it simple. ,
Guest726 (guest): Now I am beginning to appreciate that is as much to be learnt from the journey as from the destination.
C: It is simple, but there is so much that is required too. Oh, you so have it there! PM
Guest726 (guest): there’s a poem… give me a second.
C: It has been a fabulous adventure. Occasionally frustrating as I seem to take two steps back and three sideways. But I always end up discovering I was really on track
Guest726 (guest): Ithaca8:05
Guest726 (guest): that’s the poem. Ithaca
Apr 7 2013, 8:05 PM
Sister Ithaca
When you set out for Ithaka
ask that your way be long,
full of adventure, full of instruction.
The Laistrygonians and the Cyclops,
angry Poseidon – do not fear them:
such as these you will never find
as long as your thought is lofty, as long as a rare
emotion touch your spirit and your body.
The Laistrygonians and the Cyclops,
angry Poseidon – you will not meet them
unless you carry them in your soul,
unless your soul raise them up before you.
Ask that your way be long.
At many a Summer dawn to enter
with what gratitude, what joy –
ports seen for the first time;
to stop at Phoenician trading centres,
and to buy good merchandise,
mother of pearl and coral, amber and ebony,
and sensuous perfumes of every kind,
sensuous perfumes as lavishly as you can;
to visit many Egyptian cities,
to gather stores of knowledge from the learned.
Apr 7 2013, 8:06 PM
Guest726 (guest): yes, that’s it. It kind of sums up what I am beginning to learn
Apr 7 2013, 8:07 PM
Sister Have Ithaka always in your mind.Your arrival there is what you are destined for.But don’t in the least hurry the journey.Better it last for years,so that when you reach the island you are old,rich with all you have gained on the way,not expecting Ithaka to give you wealth.Ithaka gave you a splendid journey.Without her you would not have set out.She hasn’t anything else to give you.And if you find her poor, Ithaka hasn’t deceived you.So wise you have become, of such experience,that already you’ll have unders
understood what these Ithakas mean.
Constantine P. Cavafy
Apr 7 2013, 8:07 PM
Guest726 (guest): If that is not applicable to my discernment i do not know what is.
Apr 7 2013, 8:07 PM
Sister Beautiful
06 PM
Guest726 (guest): yes, that’s it. It kind of sums up what I am beginning to learn
Apr 7 2013, 8:09 PM
C: oh this one is the right author http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/ithaca/
Ithaca by Constantine P. Cavafy
Apr 7 2013, 8:09 PM
Sister : Who said it- Rilke- you will live your questions into your own answers. Something like that- in Letters to a Young Poet
10 PM
C: It sounds like a paradox, but it’s true
Guest726 (guest): There is truth in that I feel
Sister : And comfort in the process:
C: yes, I know I catch myself thinking that if the process is slow that I have somehow failed
Guest726 (guest): Does one ever stop discerning?
Apr 7 2013, 8:12 PM
Sister : Good question!
Apr 7 2013, 8:12 PM
Guest726 (guest): I know it carries on certainly through the novitiate
Apr 7 2013, 8:12 PM
Sister : Actually, no
Apr 7 2013, 8:12 PM
Guest726 (guest): I thought not.
Apr 7 2013, 8:13 PM
Guest726 (guest): Does the nature of it change?
Apr 7 2013, 8:13 PM
Sister : Even beyond- not so much for the baseline vocation
But for all that springs up as you are living it
Obedience of course is the staple in that discernment
But once you get responsibilities or leadership charges the discernment shifts but it is there
Communities go through changes so often it is a communal discernment that happens
Guest726 (guest): I walked a labyrinth on a retreat once. I got a lot from it when I viewed God as it’s centre. I learned that sometimes when it seems to me I am actually furtherest away from God I am – in reality – closest.
013, 8:17 PM
SRMR: I’ve never walked a labyrinth, but it looks fascinating.
Apr 7 2013, 8:18 PM
C: it’s wonderful. on one retreat I even drew my own
PM
SRMR: For me, the more time before Our Lord in the Tabernacle, the clearer I think.
Apr 7 2013, 8:18 PM
Guest726 (guest): It was interesting. I got a lot from it that helped me understand aridity
8:18 PM
Guest726 (guest): Which I get quite a bit of. , 8:19 PM
SRMR: Surrounded by the desert of relativism, it’s easy to fall into aridity, that’s for sure!
Sister How did the labyrinth help with aridity?
Apr 7 2013, 8:21 PM
R: been working a billion hours of overtime… I had an email with the Toledo Visitation and thought I’m gonna make it tonight, no matter what.. I just got home, so here I am, better late than never
Apr 7 2013, 8:22 PM
SRMR: In light of the Annunciation tomorrow I’ve been more aware of how Mary’s humility is the foundation of her “discernment.”
Apr 7 2013, 8:22 PM
Sister Are you trying Toledo?
Apr 7 2013, 8:22 PM
PM
Guest726 (guest): simply be giving me a practical demonstration of how it is possible that when I feel furtherest from God. I am actually closest. simply be giving me a practical demonstration of how it is possible that when I feel furtherest from God. I am actually closest.
Apr 7 2013, 8:23 PM
Sister Great community
Apr 7 2013, 8:23 PM
R: I’m going to visit a couple of Carmels (the one here and another, trying to decide which), hopefully Toledo, and I’m also talking to a poor clares monastery.
R: Advice from my sd… try for several orders and see where God leads me
R: but I’ve been interested in both the Carmel here and Toledo since the beginning
Sister : It’s interesting the advice your director gave you, visit several communities and let God lead
The Director is not asking you to determine your spirituality as the communities are all different
PM
SRMR: Yes, experience the life in each community and then pray that God lead you as He wishes. 30 PM
R: yes.. she has me reading two books too.. a right to be merry (about live in a poor clares convent) and My Beloved (about Carmelites)
and a big ole list of questions
SRMR: I love SFdS’s comparison of Our Lord to a magnet: “just as the iron, if free from all obstacles and from its own weight, would be powerfully yet gently drawn with the steady attraction by the magnet, so too the most Blessed Mother, since there is nothing in her to impede the operation of her son’s divine love, was united with Him.” (Treatise on the Love of God) 13, 8:32 PM
R I keep trying to read it but when I start I fall asleep lol.. no wonder with all the hours I’m working. The overtime was SUPPOSED to be over come April, but we’re still goinghe problem is, with all this overtime, it’s tough to get the reading done. bc I just pass out when not working lol
SRMR: So, like Our Lady, I just need to remove all obstacles to Our Lord’s drawing me to Himself. That’s the best way of all to discern, I think.
R: I think so too!
6 o
3 PM
C: Yes, He is a magnet for me for sure!
Apr 7 2013, 8:34 PM
SRMR: He’ll make it clear where He’s drawing you.
PM
Sister : The magnet image is very helpful- thank you Sister!
Apr 7 2013, 8:35 PM
SRMR: I love that we can absolutely trust Him to draw us, as long as we have our priorities right: serving Him and His people come first.
36 PM
: If I start thinking about my own interests and comfort, I’m lost in a maze, not on Our Lord’s labyrinth. 8:37 PM
Sister : Wonderful distinction and another sure guide
PM
C: yes, since a maze is a trick, it is not holyPM
SRMR: I like this letter of spiritual direction of SFdS’s: God knows who we are and will hold out His fatherly hand to us when we stumble and are unsure, so that nothing may stop us. But to reap the full joy of this grace we must trust Him utterly.” PM
C: Like Father said today-the handle to the door is on the inside, and we have to open the door and let Him in
Apr 7 2013, 8:40 PM
Guest726 (guest): “Jesus. I trust in you.”
Apr 7 2013, 8:40 PM
SRMR: I really like the image of God holding my hand, not just holding me in His hand (as the song goes)!
Apr 7 2013, 8:41 PM
C: Yes, because if He’s holding our hand, He’s walking with us
1 PM
SRMR: and pointing out the right way – the way He wants us to walk
Apr 7 2013, 8:42 PM
SRMR: the person He wants us to marry or the community He wants us to be part of
not always an easy way to walk, but the right one, we can be sure
3 PM
C: Yes, and then we have to practice listening and being patient4 PM
SRMR: Yes, that’s where I push myself aside and put the other person first. 46 PM