SrSusan (guest): Tonite we chat about the Holy Family: Reflection:
How do we handle distressing circumstances?
What are our expectations about life in a family?
How do we share our joys and sorrows?
ec 29 2013, 7:22 PM
G: For me I just let it go as it doesn’t hold importance. I try to look past what ever is happening with the help of God22 PM
Sister Susan Marie: You have a great attitude!
G: It may be painful but I must walk on my own path. that path is with Jesus.
Sister Susan Marie: I think family life needs to be centered in Jesus very deeply:24 PM
G: My joys and sorrows are shared by loving others. I may not like something but I try to again look past the moment and see Godin all things7:26 PM
The joy is in the love that can be shared.
Sister Susan Marie: Yes and in community it is the same
G: I believe the love shared in community is more spiritual and deeper.
More spiritual, yes. Less emotional, usually
Sister Susan Marie: But as we all come from different backgrounds we need to understand each other
G: Love shared is a knowing on a spiritual level. A smile, a nod can speak volumns.
True, but hat comes with time and disapline. Everyone has a different personality.
Sister Susan Marie: I think it is interesting to reflect on family vs community life. Expectations for community and its reality sometimes differ
G: With uncondditional love and compassion we learn to accept and love all in community. It is a gift that Jesus gives us
Sister Susan Marie: Families being so physically united carry a certain kind of unity, but living in community with believers also has its own form of unity. The Holy Family had both
Dec 29 2013, 7:35 PM
G: If I am accepted into a community It is important to be silent and listen to those in charge. The head of the family so to speak
Sister Susan Marie: Yes that’s obedience
G: The Holy Family is an example for all of us.
Sister Susan Marie: For my pre Christmas retreat I read some of Bl Catherine Emmerich’s works and there was interesting details about the Family there
G: They were obedience to the will of God yet they also lived in the temporal world.
Sister Susan Marie: Yes and the Blessed Mother according to this book was very obedient to St Joseph, very respectful of him, even as she knew more things about what was going on than he did
G: I am sure their sacrafices were great but God gave them many Graces to sustain them
Sister Susan Marie: Knowing that they had all this special grace, how can we really expect to do as they did? I think with prayer, certainly:
G: In that time and place it was the duty of a wife to be obedient to her husband. Men and waman have different roles2
Sister Susan Marie: And in community life today it is the nun’s duty to follow the suggestions of Superior,
G: We must emulate them, pray and teach the children about them. The life of the family needs to be centered around the church and its teachings
Sister Susan Marie: How can we help families get to that point, that you just stated?
G: That is a difficult question as many families are without God in their lives
I think we must be role models with uncoditional love. Live Jesus
Dec 29 2013, 7:45 PM
Sister Susan Marie: We are trying to think of ways to help families grow closer to Jesus, as a family
Sister Susan Marie: Some of the prep we do for children’s First Communion here helps
G: We must be available to those in need
I was thinking more of the poor and homeless. Those on the street.
Sister Susan Marie: Moving hearts and touching hearts as Pope Francis is doing
G: YES!
Sister Susan Marie: in the loving warmth of one’s own heart
Guest892 (guest): Hi. I think teaching parents trust and obedience to the Church will lead families closer to Jesus
A: I think it is difficult to teach trust. It is a grace
G: The smile and recognition we can give to a homeless person that can open the door for Jesus to enter.
Dec 29 2013, 7:51 PM
Sister Susan Marie: One can perhaps demonstrate trust, true but it does not guarantee the other will develop it without that grace
A: I too have a love for the homeless and downtrodden
Sister Susan Marie: Our parish had a wonderful homeless program in the rectory and parishioners would volunteer to stay overnight.
G: Wow.
A: That sounds wonderful. I think the homeless and down and out persons respond well to the love of Jesus because the need Him so much
Sister Susan Marie: The priests were upstairs and we were downstairs in lovely rooms
A: Family issues are getting more intense I believe due to many influences
Dec 29 2013, 7:56 PM
G: In my own family, the ones I am helping there is a lot of drinking and alot of denial
I try to take the children to church and teach them about Jesus.
A: And kids have to deal with drugs, pressures to look and be perfect all the time,
Sister Susan Marie: People don’t know how to face troubles. We are blessed that some of them come to pray with us in the parlor
A: What are the ages of the children you deal with?
G: 12, 8,7,6, 4 who has williams syndrome, 3 and 2year twins. From two families
Guest892 (guest): Sometimes people, even Christians don’t know the Christian way to deal with situations. Once it is spoken in love to them it sheds light.They are often so happy and relieved to “recall” the way of the Lord. They are inundated with wordly role models and solutions.
G: These are my grandchildren
A: Ok
Sister Susan Marie: I agree; even religious get caught up in “business” models, sometimes
G: I believe by our love and compassion we can bring people to the Lord and the church
As you said Sister Susan trust is a major factor.
A: We let the “models” mold the way we think we are to be like, and end up unhappy because we mask our true selves
G: But in community isnt it important to become a model of what is taught and expected. That whay it takes so many years.
Guest892 (guest): I read somewhere that trust in the Church can seem like a child walking through a dark path through the forest – but the Church is like the mother’s hand that reaches out and guide s the child. Everything changes
Sister Susan Marie: Oh yes, because we are remolding ourselves
Sister Susan Marie: That’s a beautiful thought
Guest892 (guest): I explained that once to someone who had trouble assenting and trusting the Church
G: Beautiful words and true.
Guest892 (guest): I think Pope Benedict wrote that in Intro to Christianity
Guest892 (guest): I think trust and shared vision are essential to community
Guest892 (guest): including families
G: Then all work together.
Sister Susan Marie: Trust takes longer to develop
Dec 29 2013, 8:11 PM
Sister Susan Marie: So someone entering for ex wants to pray and love the Lord and be a monastic or contemplative
Sister Susan Marie: Most will share that vision
Sister Susan Marie: But if there have been personal issues in their lives and they have not worked them all out
Sister Susan Marie: Older women in particular have lots of life experience
Guest892 (guest): Oh thank you. This discussion is helpful.
G: Are own issues are often reflected on others.
Sister Susan Marie: Community life, which many people long for, takes alot of work, like a marriage I think
A: I think everyone comes in with past life experiences, some which can enrich community and some which may challenge that
Sister Susan Marie: Plus a religious community is also like a new culture
Sister Susan Marie: So you have to observe the culture and adapt to it
G: that brings to mind the Little Flower Who worked with a nun who did not trust her. Thru loving kindness she won her over
Dec 29 2013, 8:16 PM
Guest892 (guest): Are you taught how to do that?
Sister Susan Marie: Taught to adapt or taught to trust?
Guest892 (guest): I mean taught the culture of religious life?
Sister Susan Marie: Oh yes. We have classes on monastic customs for ex plus the novice directress often points out the little things
Sister Susan Marie: Older women may consider the customs inconsequential but they need to look at them like choregraphy
Dec 29 2013, 8:18 PM
A: Which monastic customs are the most difficult to adapt to?
Sister Susan Marie: Walking into the refectory together and waiting in silence for the prayer
G: To me it sounds beautiful.
A: I guess adapting to the rule of silence can be tough.
Sister Susan Marie: Rising immediately at the sound of the bell and not finishing a sentence!
Sister Susan Marie: Lights out at 10P
A: Which bell?
Sister Susan Marie: The tower bell that calls us to meals or prayer
G: It is the voice of God
A: Do you allow sisters to pray at night, ie psalms? what about sisters who get up at let’s say, 3 am?
Sister Susan Marie: You have to imagine the view from “heaven” looking down; synchronicity is beautiful; individuality is a jumble
Sister Susan Marie: No all that has to change
Sister Susan Marie: Unless you can’t sleep- but for night rising another Order would be recommended
Sister Susan Marie: The asceticism is in following the rule rather one’s own ascetic practice
G: It is being perfected in a way pleasing to the Lord.
Guest892 (guest): This is also humility in a way (?)
Sister Susan Marie: However the Lord may inspire someone and that wuld need to be discussed with the Superior
Sister Susan Marie: Oh yes; humility is the key virtue in the Visitation, along with gentleness
Sister Susan Marie: You need to think of monastic life as a dance before God- all of us dancing together in harmony
A: I’m a bit concerned about my independent New England nature, and living as a hermit may be an adjustment, but I love doing the office with the Benedictines
Sister Susan Marie: That’s why retreats are helpful
Dec 29 2013, 8:30 PM
Sister Susan Marie: We are all independent and different but we try to blend into a whole
A: I see, that’s the beauty of it all, but it probably evolves over time as you all grow into a unit
Or a family
Yes and it is different than being a hermit when we are together but alone we need to have that hermit’s heart
A: Do you have time for solitude?
Dec 29 2013, 8:32 PM
Sister Susan Marie: Oh yes