- Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and the measure you give will be the measure you get. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, `Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye” (Matthew 7:1-5). We hear this verse a lot. Do we take it seriously?
- Saint Paul takes us beyond simply not judging, but he deepens what it means to not judge: “Do nothing from selfishness or conceit, but in humility count others better than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others” (Philippians 2:3-4). How can we make this extra step from judgment into a genuine concern for others?
- Judgment often begins from an unspoken sense of insecurity and inadequacy. It is a disordered concern for self. How do you think caring for others is or is not a form of caring for yourself (in an unselfish way)?
Carol Ann: What did you think of today’s questions?
Sep 6 2015, 7:30 PM
Judy K: I have to confess that I have had the tendency to be judgmental in the past. Then I heard a saying that we tend to see in others those faults of which we ourselves are guilty. When I see someone else’s fault, I remember this and am pushed to examine myself to se if I am guilty of the same thing.
Dawn L: I wondered with 1st guestion…about the distinction
Carol Ann: I also started doing that, but sometimes it’s awhile before I catch mysdelf
SrSusanMarie (guest): The first question Dawn?
Sep 6 2015, 7:32 PM
SrSusanMarie (guest): We hear this verse a lot. Do we take it seriously?
Sep 6 2015, 7:33 PM
SrSusanMarie (guest): The verse from Scripture?
Sep 6 2015, 7:33 PM
Sep 6 2015, 7:33 PM
Dawn L: The difference..we make a judgement then move it into concern? Discern to concern
Sep 6 2015, 7:33 PM
Dawn L: Yes, maybe the scripture
Sep 6 2015, 7:34 PM
SrSusanMarie (guest): Oh this one: How can we make this extra step from judgment into a genuine concern for others?
Sep 6 2015, 7:34 PM
Dawn L: Yes!
Sep 6 2015, 7:34 PM
SrSusanMarie (guest): Do nothing from selfishness or conceit, but in humility count others better than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others” (Philippians 2:3-4).
Sep 6 2015, 7:34 PM
Judy K: From judgment to concern:
35 PM
SrSusanMarie (guest): Like turning a negative into a positive
Carol Ann: That is the hardest part-we may pray for discernment and think we are acting from concern, but sometimes in retrospect, we find we did not.
Sep 6 2015, 7:35 PM
Lisa C: Pope Francis took the other night took the Single Mother who had two children out of wedlock and said to her that she was brave and courageous because she respected life. If we look to find a positive we can.
Sep 6 2015, 7:36 PM
Lisa C: She decided to have her children, keep them, raise them, love them in spite of being homeless and having a hard time
36 PM
Judy K: 2. recall that Jesus died for that other and s/he is deserving of our care and concern; 3. recognize our own need for the care and concern of others and realize that others have the same need
Sep 6 2015, 7:37 PM
Dawn L: Merciful
7:38 PM
Judy K: It’s almost do unto others as we would have them do unto us.
Sep 6 2015, 7:38 PM
Judy K: Hi Anne!
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SrSusanMarie (guest): I think judgements go on all the time or perhaps it would be better to call them evaluations that leadto judgments 7:40 PM
Judy K: But sometimes we can misread the actions or words of another and draw a totally wrong conclusion.
Sep 6 2015, 7:41 PM
Dawn L: Ive been thinking about how we can rightly judge a visable action, but not the inner heart which only God knows
7:41 PM
Judy K: We might think that a person is disinterested, but he or she is really shy, e.g
Carol Ann: or a person may be acting from a fear we don’t know about
Sep 6 2015, 7:43 PM
SrSusanMarie (guest): I think the judgments the Scripture refers to might be stronger in tone- but it is true that even in a small matter one can be judgemental
, 7:43 PM
Judy K: Or the person might be acting from a misconception of his own.
Dawn L: Maybe not worry so much about wwhy or what, rather just act out of love.I dont think that would ever be wasted
Sep 6 2015, 7:45 PM
Judy K: So we really do need to be careful when judging another for we may not have all the facts regarding his action.s
Sep 6 2015, 7:45 PM
SrSusanMarie (guest): This is the essence of discriminating against others “in our hearts”: to live with two hearts, to live by a double standard. As James says, when we set ourselves up as judge (and jury) of our neighbor while failing to use the same standard on ourselves, we “hand down corrupt decisions.” –
Sep 6 2015, 7:45 PM
SrSusanMarie (guest): That’s from the posted article- the two hearts concept
Carol Ann: are we all double-hearted to some extent?
SrSusanMarie (guest): Are we soft on ourselves and harder on others? Living in community can bring this out
Sep 6 2015, 7:47 PM
SrSusanMarie (guest): Or this? Very typical: We complain very easily about our neighbor, but our neighbors must never complain about us. What we do for others always seems like such a big deal, but what others do for us seems like nothing at all.
Sep 6 2015, 7:47 PM
SrSusanMarie (guest): Hi Ruth
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Carol Ann: I think that most people say they are harder on themselves, yet I saw what you did in community, Mother
Sep 6 2015, 7:47 PM
Judy K: Hi Ruth!
5, 7:47 PM
Dawn L: I have more often been judged by others, but realize I can find myself judging those who wrongly judged. Mother, you mention in questions judgement often begins from an insecurity PM
SrSusanMarie (guest): Yes and people can get hurt because they feel insecure.
Sep 6 2015, 7:48 PM
SrSusanMarie (guest): So they take an offhand remark more seriously for ex
Ruth (guest): Hello Sr. Susan Hi Judy and Carol, Dawn, Lisa, Anne.
Sep 6 2015, 7:49 PM
Anne M: Hi Ruth
Sep 6 2015, 7:49 PM
Lisa C: How will the Church deal with issues about Gay marriage? We know everyone has sins, but we cannot condone Gay marriage. We do not condone other sins either. Why are people expecting us to say that this is ok?
Sep 6 2015, 7:49 PM
SrSusanMarie (guest): St Francis de Sales says: Always put yourself in your neighbor’s place and your neighbor in yours and you will judge justly.
Sep 6 2015, 7:50 PM
Dawn L: I do this Mother…over sensitive. Or maybe its worse!
Sep 6 2015, 7:50 PM
SrSusanMarie (guest): There is an agenda driving everything in this country I think
:50 PM
Lisa C: I am not trying to say that other sins are less wrong. I think that no one is asking us to say the other sins are ok. No one says my lifestyle is stealing, or killing, or adulterine.
Sep 6 2015, 7:50 PM
Lisa C: aldultering
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Judy K: People are expecting us to say that this is OK because they need to be supported in their erroneous beliefs. Maybe they are really not so sure themselves and the more people who agree with the practice, the better they feel about it themselves.
Sep 6 2015, 7:51 PM
Carol Ann: because society has lost the sense of sin?
Sep 6 2015, 7:51 PM
Lisa C: I think no one can say our own sins are less wrong.
Sep 6 2015, 7:52 PM
Lisa C: Do we have motes in our eyes?
7:52 PM
Dawn L: On the issue of gay marriage, against church teachings so wrong. But for each indivual I do not think I can judge….I dont know how God may be working in their heart PM
Lisa C: I am not saying that we should say their sins are ok, but this is so tricky
Sep 6 2015, 7:53 PM
Judy K: I guess we need to remember that we can judge the actions but not the person
7:54 PM
Lisa C: Meanwhile we have a responsibility to give good examples to children and each other. Can we have a gay teacher in a Catholic school? No, but how do we know we do not have someone who did something terrible and hid it? We do not know 5 PM
Lisa C: I think it might boil down to repentance….when Jesus does not condemn sinners He still wants them to try to stop sinning
Sep 6 2015, 7:55 PM
Ruth (guest): Lisa, I think we have to distinguish between a teacher being gay and living in a gay relationship.
6 PM
Lisa C: Life style vs. trying to stop and be sorry about it
Sep 6 2015, 7:56 PM
Dawn L: Reflecting on how much society has fallen just say last 5 yrs….
Sep 6 2015, 7:56 PM
Judy K: I recall an adage from my elementary school days: “There is so much good in the worst of us, and so much bad in the best of us; that it behooves none of us to talk about the rest of us.”
6 PM
Ruth (guest): There are at least some gay individuals who are striving to live a life of celibacy — the third pathway — in order to be faithful to the the teachings of the Catholic Church.
Sep 6 2015, 7:56 PM
Carol Ann: Amen!
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Judy K: And I guess that it behooves none of us to judge the rest of us.
Dawn L: Any single person is called to celibacy, so not anymore difficult
Sep 6 2015, 7:58 PM
Anne M: My neighbor is gay. He is a very generous and kind hearted person, but he and I part ways in our belief about gay lifestyle, marriage. He appears to respect my beliefs, since he knows i’m Catholic. I’ve even given him a Rosary and he said he has been using it and it is soothing to him. catch more flies with honey
Sep 6 2015, 7:59 PM
Carol Ann: That’s wonderful Anne
Sep 6 2015, 7:59 PM
Lisa C: I am just asking how we deal with this without being judgmental?
Sep 6 2015, 7:59 PM
SrSusanMarie (guest): The reality is that we are going to encounter very difficult situations and depending on our responsibilities we will need to make evaluations and decisions. But an evaluation may not be the same as a judgement even if it will be perceived that way
0 PM
Carol Ann: Please go on, Mother. How are they different?
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SrSusanMarie (guest): First assessing a situation without either an emotional response, but objectively
Sep 6 2015, 8:01 PM
Lisa C: Do we fire a teacher who lives with someone who is a boyfriend or girlfriend?
Sep 6 2015, 8:01 PM
SrSusanMarie (guest): No criticism
Sep 6 2015, 8:02 PM
Carol Ann: I don’t think we can Lisa, because of the way the laws are written
Sep 6 2015, 8:02 PM
SrSusanMarie (guest): I mean, critical thinking but not harsh responses
Sep 6 2015, 8:02 PM
Carol Ann: I don’t think we can Lisa, because of the way the laws are written
SrSusanMarie (guest): A decision is based on reason, seeing all the facts one can, discerning in prayer.
Sep 6 2015, 8:03 PM
SrSusanMarie (guest): Judgement does not have all the facts but in a way is like a super hasty decision
8:04 PM
Judy K: Perhaps we need to present them with a choice–it is the policy of the school that single people do not cohabitate. You can either follow the policy, or you will have to seek another job.
Sep 6 2015, 8:04 PM
Ruth (guest): Sr., I had a situation yesterday — a “retreat” of “my” prayer group and their family members. I’ve never really felt accepted in the group, except maybe by one or two people — not by the “leader(s).” I missed a couple of meetings for good reasons, and when I went Wednesday evening I found out that they were planning a one day “retreat.” I decided to go for the Mass but not the rest of it. But I wound up staying when they were praying with laying on of hands.
Sep 6 2015, 8:04 PM
Carol Ann: are the labor laws for private schools different?
Sep 6 2015, 8:05 PM
SrSusanMarie (guest): Judging moves towards condemnation while evaluation states a situation objectively
05 PM
Carol Ann: Thank you, Mother. It is starting to become clearer
Sep 6 2015, 8:05 PM
Dawn L: Thank you for clear distinction
PM
SrSusanMarie (guest): Welcome. Ruth, what else happened?
Sep 6 2015, 8:06 PM
Ruth (guest): I let the priest pray for me, and I felt that I should pray for him and some of the others. But then a certain lawyer – “leader” joined the little group I was at. When they asked if I wanted prayer, I said, “Not here, not now.
Sep 6 2015, 8:06 PM
Anne M: How was it Ruth?
15, 8:06 PM
Judy K: Yes, Mother, that does make it clearer. 8:09 PM
Ruth (guest): That was because the “lawyer” was there. He had recently committed fraud in a very old matter that I had long since pretty much forgotten about until a couple of weeks ago. He was trying, I guess, to “cover his tracks.” But it made everything worse. I don’t know if I was being prudent in not letting that man have an opportunity to use prayer to manipulate or whether I was being judgemental.
SrSusanMarie (guest): As long as they have a copy fo the catechism
Sep 6 2015, 8:10 PM
Dawn L: You are speaking of Catholic schools?
Sep 6 2015, 8:10 PM
Lisa C: Do you have to give them a paper copy if they are Catholic?
Sep 6 2015, 8:11 PM
Lisa C: Can you give them a link to a website? Can you expect them to know, because you hire Catholics?
:07 PM
Lisa C: Carol I think based on Religion they can ask a teacher to leave and it is ok.
Sep 6 2015, 8:07 PM
Dawn L: Ruth, why did you decline prayer, was it lawyer or am I reading it wrong
Sep 6 2015, 8:08 PM
Carol Ann: Because you felt judged by them?
Sep 6 2015, 8:08 PM
SrSusanMarie (guest): Lisa I think schools need to have clear policies these days
Sep 6 2015, 8:09 PM
Ruth (guest): That was because the “lawyer” was there. He had recently committed fraud in a very old matter that I had long since pretty much forgotten about until a couple of weeks ago. He was trying, I guess, to “cover his tracks.” But it made everything worse. I don’t know if I was being prudent in not letting that man have an opportunity to use prayer to manipulate or whether I was being judgemental.
Sep 6 2015, 8:09 PM
Lisa C: Mother what if the school says the policy is that the teachers have to follow the catechism
Sep 6 2015, 8:12 PM
Judy K: Hi Sr. Mary Roberta!
Sep 6 2015, 8:12 PM
Lisa C: Hi Sister
Sep 6 2015, 8:12 PM
SrSusanMarie (guest): There are diocesan rules about faculty handbooks and so forth and today topics need to be outlined more clearly I think
Sep 6 2015, 8:12 PM
Carol Ann: Hi Sr Mary Roberta
Sep 6 2015, 8:12 PM
Mary Roberta Viano: Hello!
Sep 6 2015, 8:12 PM
Dawn L: Hi Sr Mary Roberta!
Sep 6 2015, 8:12 PM
Ruth (guest): Hello Sr. Roberta.
Sep 6 2015, 8:12 PM
SrSusanMarie (guest): Not all the teachers are Catholic in Catholic schools today
Sep 6 2015, 8:12 PM
SrSusanMarie (guest): Hi Sister!
PM
Mary Roberta Viano: We had a longer recreation, talking about preparations for our Sr. Jacqueline’s 60th anniversary of the profession of her vows!
Sep 6 2015, 8:13 PM
Anne M: Hi Sister.
Sep 6 2015, 8:13 PM
Ruth (guest): Yes, here there are some teachers in the Catholic school who are not Catholic.
Sep 6 2015, 8:13 PM
Lisa C: If you have a teacher who is not Catholic are they required to not contradict the church?
Sep 6 2015, 8:13 PM
Anne M: 60 years!!
Sep 6 2015, 8:13 PM
Dawn L: This must be difficult situation
Sep 6 2015, 8:13 PM
Carol Ann: 60 years! that’s awe inspiring
Sep 6 2015, 8:14 PM
Judy K: 60 years! She is indeed blessed.
Sep 6 2015, 8:14 PM
Dawn L: Beautiful…60 yrs
Sep 6 2015, 8:14 PM
Mary Roberta Viano: Yes, when you think how difficult it is for young people nowadays to decide to commit and then be faithful to that commitment.
Sep 6 2015, 8:14 PM
Anne M: I’d love to get rid of student debt so I could at least have a couple of years before I leave this earth!
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Mary Roberta Viano: Yes, Anne, my sons in their mid-40s are still drowning in education debt!
Sep 6 2015, 8:15 PM
Anne M: :/
7 PM
Judy K: Well, to that last question–is caring for others a form of caring for ourselves?I say that it is because it is moving out of ourselves and giving of ourselves which is a need as great as that of wanting to be cared for. Caring for others meets our own need to be needed o wanted.
Sep 6 2015, 8:17 PM
Ruth (guest): I seem to remember that a part of my educational debt was cancelled because I taught in an school with special needs — an area where they had a hard time getting teachers.
7 PM
Dawn L: The 2nd question….how caring for others is or is not a form of caring for yourself in an unselfish way
Sep 6 2015, 8:18 PM
Mary Roberta Viano: You’re right, Ruth. My sons have drifted some – not being focused on career until now. That’s why they’re still stuck.
Sep 6 2015, 8:18 PM
Carol Ann: The key is being unselfish
18 PM
Carol Ann: are we doing it because we can or because we get something out of it?
Sep 6 2015, 8:18 PM
Mary Roberta Viano: Yes, going out of oneself to care for another is ironically to be less selfish.
9 PM
Ruth (guest): Carol Ann, I think it is both. And I think that that is OK.
Sep 6 2015, 8:20 PM
Dawn L: I never thought of it this way when in nursing, rather there is a sense of connectedness caring for other persons, esp those suffering. How can it not be so
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Carol Ann: I think you are right, but then I think of enabling behaviors and codependency. but that’s really another discussion
Sep 6 2015, 8:21 PM
Judy K: We all have a need to be needed. Fulfilling the needs of another has the rebound effect of fulfilling our own need.
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Ruth (guest): Carol Ann, oh, I was thinking, for example, of getting satisfaction from serving others AND getting paid for service.
Sep 6 2015, 8:21 PM
Lisa C: I saw this video of a Visitation Aspirant who had school debt and found a way to help pay it off so she could enter… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dqYbW7BFrdM
Carroll Vincent Visitation Monastery Aspirant on WNGL Archangel Radio Live Hour – YouTube
Sep 6 2015, 8:22 PM
Carol Ann: Yes, Ruth, that’s what this discussion is about
Sep 6 2015, 8:22 PM
Mary Roberta Viano: Well, Ruth, you need the pay to survive to be able to serve others, right?
2 PM
Mary Roberta Viano: Well, Ruth, you need the pay to survive to be able to serve others, right?
Sep 6 2015, 8:23 PM
SrSusanMarie (guest): Yes Laboure Society helps one pay off debts by teaching one to fundraise
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Mary Roberta Viano: And it’s often because of debt that aspirants have to enter religious life later.
SrSusanMarie (guest): There may be another also
Sep 6 2015, 8:24 PM
Mary Roberta Viano: And actually it’s the same for those who marry, who don’t want to start their lives together burdened with debt.
Sep 6 2015, 8:24 PM
Anne M: Sorry, dog had to go out right away!
Sep 6 2015, 8:24 PM
Lisa C: Or one could enter the military and go to Chaplain school to be a priest
PM
Sep 6 2015, 8:24 PM
Mary Roberta Viano: Often a young person’s parish will also help. Ours did – St. Joseph’s Church in VA.
Sep 6 2015, 8:25 PM
SrSusanMarie (guest): http://fundforvocations.org/
Mater Ecclesiae Fund for Vocations
Sep 6 2015, 8:25 PM
Lisa C: Anne scroll up to see ways to pay off debt
Anne M: Yes there are funds and I am on the list for both, but I actually had difficulty getting the letter of intent needed for the program. I was told I could enter, but only after debt was satisfied. Those programs pay the debt when you go in. I guess I need to keep trying, but getting discouraged. PM
Anne M: Thank you, I will keep trying!
Sep 6 2015, 8:28 PM
SrSusanMarie (guest): Each congregation has its own constitutions that cover these matters
Sep 6 2015, 8:28 PM
Mary Roberta Viano: Sometimes you can find personal benefactors who are willing to help pay off education debts.
8:28 PM
Anne M: If the Lord wants it it’ll happen
Sep 6 2015, 8:28 PM
Mary Roberta Viano: So true, Anne!
:28 PM
Judy K: Well everyone, have a Happy Labor Day. Let us be thankful for work, even if we hate the job. and let us pray for those who are unable to find work. G’night all!
Sep 6 2015, 8:28 PM
SrSusanMarie (guest): God bless
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Mary Roberta Viano: esp. all the immigrants who long for honest employment 9 PM
Carol Ann: Have a happy holiday and a blessed week! Yes, we should pray for all those who just want a decent way to feed their families
Sep 6 2015, 8:29 PM
Mary Roberta Viano: Special prayers for the German Catholics who are helping the Syrian immigrants in every way possible!
Sep 6 2015, 8:30 PM
Dawn L: Good night everyone.prayers for refugees.. Blessings!
Sep 6 2015, 8:30 PM
Anne M: Carol Ann, how is the Brothers and Sisters of Charity going?
Sep 6 2015, 8:30 PM
Mary Roberta Viano: Blessed Labor Day and start of school, for those who haven’t ye
Carol Ann: I start the postulancy this week, and will talk to my formation assistant tomorrow. such a luxury, to have an assistant!
Sep 6 2015, 8:31 PM
Anne M: Yay! God Bless!
Sep 6 2015, 8:31 PM
Lisa C: Carol Ann how wonderful what order?
Sep 6 2015, 8:31 PM
SrSusanMarie (guest): How wonderful!
:32 PM
Carol Ann: I’m very excited! Brothers & Sisters of Charity, domestic expression. littleportion.org
Sep 6 2015, 8:32 PM
Dawn L: Prayers for all here in process of entering!
Sep 6 2015, 8:32 PM
Carol Ann: I’m going to work harder than I ever have before I think! But my assistant is very kind
Sep 6 2015, 8:32 PM
SrSusanMarie (guest): and discerning!