Sun Chat: Hidden Virtues of Family Life

The selection from the Letter to the Colossians confronts us with the gift – and the challenge – of creating that ‘space’ we call ‘family’ a space in which we first learn something of what it means to be sons and daughters of God. As God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, we must clothe ourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, meekness and patience. Insofar as a holy life is not the same as a stress-free or trouble-free life (just look at the life, especially the very early life, of Jesus, Mary and Joseph), we all need to practice these virtues all the time with the hope of establishing, maintaining and strengthening family, especially – God forbid – when we ruffle, distract or disappoint one another.

Francis de Sales calls us to live a life of devotion in ways that fit the demands and responsibilities of the state and stage of life in which we find ourselves. What is a devout life? It is nothing more (but more demanding) than doing what is right in the eyes of God, and in relation to one another, carefully, frequently and diligently. It is precisely in the vocation in which we find ourselves, especially in those roles so basic as mother, father, brother, sister, wife, husband, son or daughter that we must practice the devout life.

Francis de Sales tells us: “The little, unattractive and hardly noticeable virtues which are required of us in our household, our place of work, among friends, with strangers, any time and all the time, these are the virtues for us.” (Introduction, Part III, Chapter 2). Of course, the most important virtue to practice is that of love, which not only reconciles, but also purifies and, dare we say, even glorifies the best of human relationships. It is only in relationship with one another that the practice of the little, everyday virtues flowers into love, not only helping to create a better life here on earth, but also providing a foretaste of the eternal life promised to us in heaven.

As we celebrate the Feast of The Holy Family we realize that we actually know very little about the day-to-day give-and-take of relationships among Jesus, Mary and Joseph. Family life – a hidden life – is a way of life that requires both science and art. Considering Jesus’ fidelity to – and consistency in – his pursuit of justice, peace, reconciliation and freedom, we certainly can sense where Jesus first acquired as a child so many of the skills he would later practice in his adult life.

After all, charity, peace, justice, forgiveness – like so many things – begin at home.