What seems to be the weaknesses of the recipient of the letter, Madame de Peyzieu? How does this give us insights into ourselves? How do we know when we are worrying too much about our own imperfections? What might this overworry indicate about us? When does worry become being scrupulous? Why is it important to moderate our attachment to things? What does St. Francis mean when he says that the “great secret is to enlist everything we do in the service of our aim and object”? How does complai
Oct 25, 8:54 AM
VisitationSiste: How does complaining take on a “snowball effect” of continuation?
When is it OK to complain about others?
Oct 25, 8:54 AM
VisitationSiste: Sun chat Oct 25 730pm est
Oct 25, 7:01 PM
Carroll V (Guest): Good evening- I have to work tonight, so I will look forward to being with you next week. Thank you for this week’s reflection and also for the blog post, “From Mother Superior.” What a gift! Have a blessed week.
Oct 25, 7:07 PM
VisitationSiste: ok
Oct 25, 7:29 PM
VisitationSiste: welcome viewers
Oct 25, 7:31 PM
Dorothy Solarino-Berman: Hi everyone!
Oct 25, 7:31 PM
VisitationSiste: hello Dorothy
Oct 25, 7:31 PM
VisitationSiste: and Dawn
Oct 25, 7:32 PM
Dorothy Solarino-Berman: This reading really touched me this week.
Oct 25, 7:32 PM
Dawn (Guest): Hello Sr Susan!. and Dorothy
Oct 25, 7:32 PM
VisitationSiste: beautiful, yes- what aspects
Oct 25, 7:33 PM
Dorothy Solarino-Berman: Hi Dawn!
Oct 25, 7:34 PM
VisitationSiste: his letters are very intimate with his correspondents
Oct 25, 7:35 PM
VisitationSiste: q1 What seems to be the weaknesses of the recipient of the letter, Madame de Peyzieu?
Oct 25, 7:35 PM
Dorothy Solarino-Berman: …and his correspondents are so like me in many ways, I can feel him speaking to my heart.
Oct 25, 7:36 PM
VisitationSiste: heart to heart spirituality is salesian
Oct 25, 7:36 PM
Dorothy Solarino-Berman: Attachments…I’m not big on cleaning and primping, but I do like to fritter my time away with little excuses…I want to do this, I’m too tired to do that, how will I handle work this week…oops! too late! missed Evening Prayer!!!
Oct 25, 7:37 PM
VisitationSiste: one thng at a time
Oct 25, 7:38 PM
Dorothy Solarino-Berman: I know, but that’s never been my forte!!! The readings today were so relevant to this for me.
Oct 25, 7:38 PM
VisitationSiste: what a grace
Oct 25, 7:39 PM
VisitationSiste: How do we know when we are worrying too much about our own imperfections? What might this overworry indicate about us?
Oct 25, 7:39 PM
Dorothy Solarino-Berman: When I worry about my own short-comings I spend more time in my head rather than in my heart and trying to make the changes.
Oct 25, 7:41 PM
Dorothy Solarino-Berman: …and those changes are what would probably bring me closer to Jesus, but I am working on that. I used to be afraid of getting too close and seeing the multitude of imperfections I need to work on, but now I like His invitation to share and I know He is the only Way my change will be possible.
Oct 25, 7:42 PM
VisitationSiste: focus on Jesus and His Love and He will change our soul at his pace
Oct 25, 7:42 PM
Dawn (Guest): God has given me the grace to see my imperfections, the past yes, but also present. As I desire to work on those I am also surrounded by others, not on the same journey, who point out my imperfections regularly. or they may not be errors at all, but others see them as this.
Oct 25, 7:43 PM
Dawn (Guest): it would be helpful if I could learn to detach from what others thinks. I just read Teresa of Avila carried this cross….concerned aout what others throught.
Oct 25, 7:44 PM
Dorothy Solarino-Berman: I have learned not to listen to others around me who are using their own lens as a focus for my imperfections, I have come to look for my confessor, my spiritual director and others who have traveled a spiritual path.
Oct 25, 7:46 PM
VisitationSiste: much better perspective i think
Oct 25, 7:47 PM
VisitationSiste: but not all have directors
Oct 25, 7:48 PM
Dorothy Solarino-Berman: I guess it does depend upon the actual issue…work issues & I deal with my mentors, spiritual I often look to Scripture, and, as you did Dawn, spiritual writers.
Oct 25, 7:50 PM
Dorothy Solarino-Berman: St. Francis’ spirit so spoke to my heart, that I often can hear him speaking his words of guidance to my heart. I love his image as the “gentleman saint” and “gentle saint”, he makes everything seem possible for anyone…even me!
Oct 25, 7:50 PM
Dawn (Guest): yes, well these are close family relations. and when their perspectives have potential to bring division then it is more difficult for me. I certainly am deepening my prayer and learning more about suffering for the conversion of others. The Holy Spirit is working mightly! things I never expected..
Oct 25, 7:51 PM
Dorothy Solarino-Berman: I must be honest, though, and say that much of this has come after many, many years of therapy, spiritual studies, prayer, and tears.
Oct 25, 7:55 PM
Dorothy Solarino-Berman: I have always thought of St. Monica when I had family issues, and even St. Francis himself needed some help when his dad wanted him to go into law and politics instead of becoming a priest. It seems that many of the saints had family issues too!
Oct 25, 7:56 PM
Dawn (Guest): Q3 Why is it important to moderate our attachment to things? good question
Oct 25, 7:57 PM
Dawn (Guest): important because our purpose is to know love and serve God.
Oct 25, 7:58 PM
Dorothy Solarino-Berman: For me, I don’t think I could ever completely detach myself of “things”, some of them I might even consider blessings, but I always pray to always put God at the forefront.
Oct 25, 7:59 PM
Dorothy Solarino-Berman: Things are things…even people, even me, but I must always remember to keep the balance…All things in moderation, what I have has been gifted by God, but must not become my god.
Oct 25, 8:02 PM
VisitationSiste: It is interesting how “things” are important to all of us- even in vowing poverty we struggle not to become attached!
Oct 25, 8:02 PM
VisitationSiste: That’s why we are supposed to share everything in common and all belongs to the community
Oct 25, 8:02 PM
VisitationSiste: But in reality we can forget that!
Oct 25, 8:02 PM
Dawn (Guest): He speaks of moderating attachments to give us a chance of finding free hours for prayers, reading and lifting uo our hearts. Ah but he says the great secret is to enlist everything we do in the service of our aim and object. this would be growing in holiness and doing his will? doing his will always is what leads us to holiness!
Oct 25, 8:03 PM
Dorothy Solarino-Berman: Sometimes, when “thing” begin to be too important, I place myself at the foot of the cross and see how much He left behind for me! I don’t even think He had clothing & He did it for me!
Oct 25, 8:03 PM
VisitationSiste: Yes I think that’s a good point!
Oct 25, 8:04 PM
VisitationSiste: Holiness and growing in charity, love of God, all are aims for us so if we do all for God we cannot , hopefully go off track
Oct 25, 8:05 PM
VisitationSiste: I think one of the Salesian prayers helps us with this
Oct 25, 8:05 PM
Dorothy Solarino-Berman: It’s really very simple, but at least for me, very hard difficult.
Oct 25, 8:05 PM
VisitationSiste: God allows events sometimes to help us with this- even negative ones
Oct 25, 8:06 PM
VisitationSiste: That’s why it is said all works for the good- even when we can’t see it
Oct 25, 8:06 PM
Dorothy Solarino-Berman: Absolutely, Sister.
Oct 25, 8:06 PM
VisitationSiste: But that does take trust
Oct 25, 8:07 PM
Dorothy Solarino-Berman: Yes, and sometimes I’m a bit too shaky to remember to hang on to that.
Oct 25, 8:07 PM
Dorothy Solarino-Berman: But knowing He loves me so much, He suffered, died and rose for me helps…a lot!
Oct 25, 8:09 PM
Dorothy Solarino-Berman: Today in the readings we heard about love of God & love of neighbor, and I kind of giggled when I read the questions about complaining about others…wow, did that hit home!
Oct 25, 8:10 PM
VisitationSiste: How does complaining take on a “snowball effect” of continuation?
When is it OK to complain about others?
Oct 25, 8:10 PM
VisitationSiste: Negativity is never really helpful
Oct 25, 8:10 PM
Dorothy Solarino-Berman: I find, that even when I say I’m not going to do that again, it only takes 1 word of encouragement from someone & I’m off to the races all over again!!!
Oct 25, 8:12 PM
VisitationSiste: we are all susceptible- takes much discipline to keep silent
Oct 25, 8:12 PM
Dorothy Solarino-Berman: and I know that is not what I am meant for. In those moments I find myself praying for forgiveness and thanksgiving. I know that if my prayer is heartfelt deep, He will hear and change me, because I am the only one I can really control.
Oct 25, 8:12 PM
Dorothy Solarino-Berman: I pray I live long enough to see myself change!!!
Oct 25, 8:14 PM
Dawn (Guest): Complaining feeds self justification and this can be difficult. but we know justification only comes from Christ, it is his justification which is the truth. Negitivity is never really helpful, good to remember Sr.even whenwe feel self justified in complaining, esp then
Oct 25, 8:17 PM
Dawn (Guest): it is hard!
Oct 25, 8:17 PM
VisitationSiste: I think it is ok to express our difficulties with someone but it depends on the spirit we express them with complaining has a negative connotation but sometimes we have to- like to complaint dept in stores etc
Oct 25, 8:19 PM
Dawn (Guest): there is a human need to share with others some things, like saying can you be with me for a moment with this burden?
Oct 25, 8:19 PM
VisitationSiste: Have any complaints ever “snowballed” in ways that one dod not expect?
Oct 25, 8:20 PM
Dorothy Solarino-Berman: Sometimes it gets hard to stick to the facts and not begin to “kitchen sink” to other feelings we may be harboring underneath it all.
Oct 25, 8:20 PM
Dawn (Guest): yes ! like opening up causes the snowball effect Sr’s question speaks of
Oct 25, 8:21 PM
VisitationSiste: Do you think St Francis de Sales expects us to always take the heroic way?
Oct 25, 8:21 PM
Dorothy Solarino-Berman: Friendships have been ended because what was a said in “advice” became condemnation…
Oct 25, 8:22 PM
Dorothy Solarino-Berman: That’s a good question. Heroic? We can’t always do big things for God, but if we do all things with love, than I think that would be ok…in charity.
Oct 25, 8:23 PM
Dawn (Guest): perhaps but he also says to her give yourself 7 or 8 days to calm down your soul
Oct 25, 8:23 PM
Dorothy Solarino-Berman: Hard to break old habits overnight.
Oct 25, 8:24 PM
VisitationSiste: I like that phrase- calm down your soul”
Oct 25, 8:24 PM
Dorothy Solarino-Berman: and it may be something she is extremely attached to which needs to be addressed.
Oct 25, 8:25 PM
Dorothy Solarino-Berman: Yes, he has such a way…Calm down your soul. It can quiet a heart just by reading it.
Oct 25, 8:25 PM
Dawn (Guest): to have a valid complaint against another person he says to fight resolutely against hating and spurning. it is a fight. Jesus to St Faustina says to fight like a knight!
Oct 25, 8:26 PM
Dorothy Solarino-Berman: True, there really isn’t room for hate, but love can be hard.
Oct 25, 8:27 PM
Dawn (Guest): In these days, with everything in the world going on around us, I am finding the Rosary, praying the rosary to be the biggest sword of all!
Oct 25, 8:28 PM
Dorothy Solarino-Berman: Agreed!
Oct 25, 8:28 PM
Dawn (Guest): and I am seeing direct things happening from her intersession. which deepens my desire to pray it more
Oct 25, 8:29 PM
VisitationSiste: Yes! best weapon!
Oct 25, 8:29 PM
VisitationSiste: Keep praying- miracles will happen!
Oct 25, 8:29 PM
Dorothy Solarino-Berman: Yes, me too. Jesus always hears His Mother’s requests.
Oct 25, 8:29 PM
Dawn (Guest): its like I said to Mary you really are praying for this! I can see, look at what is happening I never imagined
Oct 25, 8:30 PM
VisitationSiste: We need Mother Mary more than ever!
Oct 25, 8:30 PM
Dorothy Solarino-Berman: She is a true Mother to us her children.
Oct 25, 8:30 PM
VisitationSiste: Such a blessing Dawn!
Oct 25, 8:30 PM
Dorothy Solarino-Berman: May she keep us under the mantle of her protection!
Oct 25, 8:30 PM
VisitationSiste: May Our Mother keep you safe all week! Yes. God bless!
Oct 25, 8:31 PM
Dorothy Solarino-Berman: And you too, Sister and Dawn. Have a Blessed week!
Oct 25, 8:34 PM
Dawn (Guest): good night Sr thank you. and Dorothy. God bless you all