Often the saints bring to light this or that aspect of the life of Jesus through their
existence and their works. If we asked Saint Francis de Sales what feature of the face of the
Christ had seduced him more particularly, what his teaching amounted to for him, he
would certainly answer us: “Our Lord formed his whole doctrine in these two words:
Learn from Me that I am gentle and humble of heart” (Letter to St. J. de Chantal).
By these two virtues recommended by Jesus, our heart is consecrated to his service and applied to
imitate him: “Humility perfects us towards God and meekness towards our neighbour…
meekness prevails over all other virtues as being the flower of charity” (IVD 3,8).
Yes, gentleness seems to be the characteristic of the Bishop of Geneva.
Gentleness is undoubtedly the Salesian mark par excellence. This is what struck the
contemporaries of Saint Francis de Sales. On this point we have the testimony of
Saint Jeanne de Chantal at the beatification process: “I don’t think we can
express the great sweetness and goodness that God had poured into his soul. His face, his eyes,
his words and all his actions breathed only sweetness and benevolence. He spread it
even in the hearts of those who saw him. So he said that the spirit of meekness was the
true spirit of the Christian…” (Deposition of St. J. de Chantal).
Saint Vincent de Paul
was also the eyewitness: “How good you must be, O my God, since so many
gentleness is in François de Sales! (Deposition of Saint V. de Paul).
It is by the sweetness of his love that God draws man to himself. “Grace is so
graceful and seizes so gracefully our hearts to attract them… Grace has forces, no
to force, but to entice the heart” (TAD 2,12). Saint Francis experienced it. All at
throughout his life, he wanted to live from it and teach it to win souls to God: “I
above all recommends the spirit of gentleness which is that which delights hearts and wins souls.
(Letter to Mme Bourgeois). “Driven by a divine love whose sweetness he knew,
Saint Vincent de Paul also reports, he published this work “On the love of God””
(Deposition St. Vincent).
Innate or acquired sweetness?
Was this virtue that attracted him so much natural to him or did he acquire it after a fight?
against himself? A childhood anecdote shows us that he could be carried away. A
Calvinist paid a visit to the Chateau de Sales. Young Francois was cautiously pushed aside. But
someone warns him by revealing the quality of the visitor. Not knowing how to express his
aversion, he picked up a wooden stick, threw himself at some hens and chased them as far as
under the windows where the visitor was, shouting in a loud voice: “Down with heretics! »
(Trochu). Saint Francis had a fairly lively temperament, but he was neither harsh nor violent. Her
nurse testifies: “He was a very graceful child, beautiful of face, affable, gentle and
familiar. “From his childhood, reports Ste J. de Chantal, according to what I heard by
several people worthy of faith, we saw in him shine a wisdom, gentleness and benevolence
quite extraordinary for this age” (Deposition Ste J. de Chantal). Grace always supposes
nature. If our saint were called to live and preach meekness and humility, wouldn’t he
because he had the first fruits in his heart? Anyway, with his temper
ardent, his usual sweetness was often put to the test. All his life he had to overcome
temptations of anger. “I have made a pact with my tongue not to say a word when I am
angry” (Deposition Fr. de Ronis). Another witness stated: “He said that he had acquired
by the grace of God the power to tame his angry passions to what his natural was
inclined” (Deposition Georges Rolland). One day when St Jeanne de Chantal pointed out to him
his lack of firmness in the face of the impertinence of an interlocutor, he replied: “Would you like to make me lose in a quarter of an hour this bit of sweetness that I had so much trouble
acquire in twenty years? » (Deposition St. J.). His gentleness was therefore a strength, the fruit of a
victory: it was also a means of victory.
The strength of gentleness
To practice gentleness as Saint Francis understood it, you need strength of soul
unordinary. Salesian meekness is not to be confused with softness or resignation.
It means neither rejection of conflict nor naive dream of a perfect world that hides the reality of evil.
and sin. Nor is it a matter of temperament or character, kindness or
of natural charm. It is, for our holy doctor, a personal decision to follow
Jesus and to be like him. This necessarily leads to moments of inner struggle. He wrote to Ste J. de Chantal: “There is no soul in the world that
cherish more cordially, tenderly and more lovingly than I; for it pleased God to
make my heart so. But nevertheless, I like independent, vigorous souls who do not
are not pusillanimous (fearful); because this too great affectivity blurs the heart, worries it
and distracts him from amorous prayer towards God… What is not God, is nothing for
we. How is it that I feel these things, I who am the most sensitive in the world? »
(Letter to St. J.).
Saint Francis speaks to us of the practice and usefulness of this virtue with great
clairvoyance. He thus saves us from illusions about ourselves and the traps of vanity.
“Take care,” he said, “that gentleness and humility are always in your heart, for it is
a ruse of the devil to bring to take an external maintenance of these virtues. Those who
do not examine their hearts carefully enough sometimes think they are humble and meek so
that they are not. As can be seen from the fact that they become irritated and angry at
the slightest word spoken to them wrongly, to the slightest offense… If, stung and bitten by
slanderers, we become proud, puffed up, irritated, it is because our humility and our sweetness
were not true and sincere, but false and lying” (IVD 3,8). Didn’t Jesus teach us that a tree is known by its fruit? We can “sing” and have all the
appearances of sweetness, but when the test comes, the depths of hearts are revealed.
Kindness to yourself
Gentleness is first necessary towards oneself: “One of the first
applications that we can make of gentleness, lord the Holy Bishop of Geneva, it is
to exercise it towards ourselves, by not getting angry either against us or against our
imperfections… These angers and resentments against oneself tend to pride and have no other
origin than self-esteem… We punish ourselves better by a calm and lasting repentance than
by bitter and angry repentance; especially since this repentance is not always proportionate to
the seriousness of the fault, but often tilted in the direction of our preferences… When our
heart has fallen into some fault, let us take it up gently, calmly, encouraging it to
correct oneself with more compassion for one’s weakness than passion for one’s fault” (IVD
3.9). In his accompaniment, he recommends to one of his spiritual daughters: “We must hate our
faults calmly and quietly, without becoming sad or upset; you have to have patience
to see them and to profit from them by a holy abasement of ourselves. Otherwise your imperfections,
that you see subtly trouble you even more subtly. They are maintained by
this means, for there is nothing that preserves our faults more than anxiety and eagerness.
to remove them” (Letter to Mme de la Fléchère). “Those who get angry fight the
evil, but those who are gentle are victorious” (Lette to Ste J.).
Gentleness towards the neighbor
It is certainly in the relations with the neighbor that gentleness best reveals its
grace. We are naturally more attracted to the sweet than to the bitter. “Always be the most
gentle as you can, and remember that you catch more flies with a spoonful
of honey than with a hundred barrels of vinegar. If it is necessary to give in any excess, whether on the side
sweetness” (J-P Camus). It is obviously in the contradictions and contradictions
that we can put this virtue into practice and truly appreciate it. Life
of the saint is full of examples on this subject: “experience has taught me not to be hard on
rebellious souls as long as there is hope of winning them over through gentleness” (Letter to Mme de la
forest). Also a witness said that “his enemies did not pass the fortnight without
do not become his friends” (Deposition of Fr. Simon). And this is often verified: “To a
young man who insulted him, he said softly and kindly that it was necessary to inquire about the
truth before getting angry; Since then, this gentleman has been going to eat and drink at the table of the
blessed who never testified remember this unworthy action” (Deposition of
George Rolland). Jeanne de Chantal similarly tells us these words of the saint:
“Never have I allowed myself sharp rejoinders, nor words contrary to sweetness,
that I have not repented of it. Men are won by love more than by rigor, and
we must not only be good, but very good” (Deposition St. J.).
And anger!
Saint Francis strongly advises us against acting under the influence of anger: “I do not
never got angry, even justly, without acknowledging afterwards that I would have more
rightly done not to get angry” (Letter to St. J.). In the Introduction to Life
Devout, he prescribes gentleness as a remedy for anger
e: “It is better to practice living
without anger than to try to use it moderately and wisely… But how to push it away?
As soon as you feel the first attacks, gather your forces, quickly but without
abruptness, gently but seriously… Pray, but as with everything we do against
this evil, pray gently, peacefully, without violence… It is a good remedy for anger
to repair it immediately by an act of meekness” (IVD 3,8).
If the emotion is too strong, he still advises silence: “He said that he did not find
no better remedy in contradictions than not speaking and remaining in a
great gentleness towards the one who causes them to us” (Deposition of Br. Favre). In case of
fall, he recommends “not to be troubled or worried that we are imperfect… [but to]
to take back and correct his heart gently and by way of compassion… it is not something
admirable that infirmity is crippled and weakness weak,” he said to his Visitandines.
Do we not see here the fruit of a personal experience? Our saint had to struggle against anger himself to be able to advise so justly how to overcome it.
Salesian gentleness, the way to holiness?
If it appears to many people as a weakness, it is, in fact, a virtue
demanding to live. “Meekness and humility are the bases of holiness,” he wrote to a
of the first Sisters of the Visitation. For François de Sales, we cannot separate these two
virtues which are the very expression of charity. Humility speaks to God, and meekness
applies to our relationship with our neighbour. “We must hold firm in ourselves, these dear
virtues: gentleness towards one’s neighbor and very lovable humility towards God. true holiness
lies in the love of God… Wanting to be ecstatic is an abuse. But let’s come to
the exercise of true meekness and submission, self-denial, flexibility
of the heart, to the love of our lowliness, to benevolence towards others: this is what is
true and most lovable ecstasy of the servants of God” (Letter to St. J.).
We could end with a last advice given by the saint to acquire the
gentleness: “You should every morning, first of all, pray to God to give you
true gentleness of spirit that he asks of the souls who serve him and to take the resolution of good
practice this virtue, especially towards the people to whom you owe the most… and
remember it a hundred times a day, commending this good plan to God” (Letter to a Lady
anonymous).
We thus see that gentleness is both the fruit of prayer and the result of a long and
patient work on oneself. Grace and nature work together on this path to holiness. Whether
we decide to take this path, let us know in advance that it will not be a path of
ease, a path of complete rest. Let’s try not to get discouraged too quickly and take
supported by the example of our gentle and humble François
Source: Tarascon Visitation Monastery