Lift Up Your Heart Bravely Against The Spiteful Girl Within You’
- To Soeur de Chastel, Sister at the Visitation in Annecy, written from Annecy, 28 October 1614.Indeed, my very dear daughter, you give me much pleasure by calling me your father, for I love your heart as a father does, seeing it still a little defenseless in the face of ordinary, slight contradictions which come its way. But I go on loving it although it sometimes thinks it will lose courage because of the little reproofs it gets from time to time; all the same it has never yet actually lost courage, this poor heart of yours, for God has upheld it in his strong hand and according to his mercy he has never abandoned his puny creature. O my very dear daughter, he will never abandon you, for although you are troubled and full of anguish about these impertinent temptations to vexation and spite, yet you never want to leave God or Our Lady, or our congregation which belongs to her, or our rules which are his will.You are right in what you say, my poor dear Peronne-Marie, my daughter: there are two persons, two women in you. One is a certain Peronne who like her godfather Peter long ago is a little touchy, resentful and liable to flare up when approached too closely; this is the Peronne who is Eve’s daughter and who is therefore bad-tempered. The other is a certain Peronne-Marie who is full of good will and wants to belong to God, and in order to belong to God she wants to be quite simply humble and humbly gentle towards all her sisters; and this is the one who would like to imitate St. Peter who was so good after Our Lord had converted him; the one who is the glorious Virgin Mary’s daughter and is therefore good-tempered. And these two daughters of different mothers fight against one another, and the worthless one is so spiteful that the good one sometimes has a hard time defending herself, and then she imagines that she has been beaten and that the spiteful one is the stronger of the two. But no indeed, my poor dear Peronne-Marie, the spiteful one is not stronger than you, but she flaunts herself more, she takes you by surprise and is wrong-headed and obstinate; and when you are about to burst into tears she is very pleased because this is so much waste of time, and she is satisfied with making you lose time when she cannot make you lose eternity.My dear daughter, lift up your heart bravely, arm yourself with the patience we ought to show towards ourselves. Rouse your heart often so that it is rather more on its guard against being taken by surprise; look out for this enemy; think of her wherever you go, if you like, for the spiteful girl goes with you everywhere and if you do not think of her she will think out something against you. But when she happens to attack you unawares, even though she makes you falter and stumble a little, do not get annoyed; just invoke Our Lord and Our Lady: they will reach out a holy helping hand to you, and if they leave you to suffer for a little while, it will be in order to make you invoke them yet again and call more loudly for their help.Do not be ashamed of all this, my dear daughter, any more than St. Paul who confesses that there were two men in him, one rebellious to God and the other obedient. Be very simple and do not get upset; humble yourself without discouragement, encourage yourself without presumption. Remember that Our Lord and Our Lady gave you your task of housekeeping for the community and they know and can see that it harasses you; but they love you all the same provided you are humble and trustful. But do not be ashamed, daughter, of being a little grimy and covered with dust; it is better to be dusty than covered with scurvy, and as long as you humble yourself all will be well.Pray much for me, my dear and really well-loved daughter, and may God be your love and protection for ever. Amen.Feast day of St. Simon and St. Jude, 1614. Reflections:
- If it is true that God will never abandon us, then how do we explain hell?
- What does it mean that we might have two people living in us?
- How do we fight against that in us which inclines us toward doubt, despair, and sin?
- How can we have patience with ourselves?
- How can we better embrace the “lot we’re given” and serve in the moment? How can we be better strive for something more (if God wills it)?
Visitation Spirit
8902 Ridge Blvd.
Brooklyn, NY 11209- – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
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